A Lover's Dozen
by Orange Dive
Summary: They gave me a rose. And Another. And Another. I was starting to think I had a stalker stalk me, but they seemed to close to be a stalker. An obsessive friend? Theres so many to single out. But I didn't have to. They delivered the last one themselves.
1. First Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**First Rose.**

I was surprised to walk in Monday morning to find a rose on my table. The classroom was relatively full, or empty, which ever way you viewed it. Groups of girls hung around talking and such. Seeing as I normally don't get these sorts of things, I do the stupid fangirls a favour and put it on the desk behind mine. Uchiha Sasuke's table.

He was some freak of a person, like some robot thing, always good at everything. That's why he's my friend. The Freak of a person bit, nothing else. I sit on my desk and look outside. Students and teachers walked absently until the bell rung through the air cutting conversations and they all had to attend class. I slide into my seat and fiddle with my pencil case. I draw squiggles and doodles on the plastic front.

Homerooms nothing special, you sit in the classroom until the bell goes. A teacher's meant to be here monitering or actually doing something but not ours. He made a deal with us all, as long as he doesn't come to class, we have a free period. Not that we wouldn't have a free period anyway. Kakashi sensei works in weird ways.

A chair scrapes behind me, and I don't even have to know who it is that's occupied the hard plastic chair. I pay him no attention and start doodling on the table. He calls my name and I don't turn around. Its part of a thing we do. Childish, yes, makes us laugh, yes, why not keep doing it?

When I don't respond, some thing brushes softly against the base of my neck. Shivers slip down my spine and I scuttle forward. It comes again, but more of it is run across my neck, it feels velvety. The third time, I couldn't take it anymore and I have to turn around. Sasuke pulls the rose away before I could get a nose full of rose. I glare at him.

"This isn't mine" he holds up a card that has my name on it, in neat Times New Roman font. I take the card from him. Flipping it open, I read the poem.

_I asked God for a flower, he gave me a bouquet  
I asked God for a minute, he gave me a day  
I asked God for true love, he gave me that too  
I asked for an angel and he gave me you._

_- John Raine _

I smile accidentally. It's so corny. Something out of a Hallmark card or something equally as cliche. But it made me smile anyway. There's no sender. Just 'John Raine' that I suppose wrote the poem. I take the rose from him and sniff it gently. I finger the petals, their so soft and pretty. The rose is a rich red, like a deep love red.

It's nice to have something for once. To treasure something for a little while before it dies away. It may sound selfish, but its nice. As the bell goes again for the day to properly begin, I pick up my books and cradle it in my arm like a baby, while I hold the rose, admiring it while it still lasts.

* * *

O.Dive. First Story. Love It. Hate It. 


	2. Second Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Second Rose.**

Today was no different than other days. It was always nice, even though it was Melbourne. Even if it rained, and everything was all dark and gloomy, the sun would always peek through the clouds and smile down on our skins, tainting it a different shade of colour that we once bore. The wind picked up strongly, billowing the eucalyptus' around franticly, howling when it rushed past my ears.

The walk to school was silent, like it was every other day. Today didn't seem different. And neither did yesterday, except for the rose. It sat lonely in a tall glass vase that belonged to my grandmother before she passed. I felt happy that it was in use again.

The sky threatened to pour rain so I hurried my steps to school. It didn't take me long to get there, a short walk, 20 minutes or so. I couldn't help but smile when it started to sprinkle before a downpour thrummed behind me as I stepped through the double front doors.

I was anxious to get to homeroom. I would be lying if I said that I wasn't. Secretly I hoped that another rose would be there, waiting, silently, with another typed card. But as I edged closer to my table, I let out a breath of disappointment. The rose wasn't there. It was selfish to think that maybe they'd come again. I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up. I knew I wouldn't receive another. Deep down, very deep down. So it was my fault.

I sat down and looked out the window, perching my chin on my hand as the rain beat down on the windows. It was tranquil for that fraction of a second when I closed my eyes. There was no noise, just the pitter patter of the rain and that was it..

* * *

School came and passed. Nothing ever exciting ever happened. It was always the same. And I have to admit, that every class that I went to, I had hoped that another rose awaited my arrival in the same elegant silence it come the first time. But alas, as always nothing ever greeted me except for the previous seater's pointless doodles. 

It had come to the end of the day and I had given up all hope for anything exciting to happen, so I dropped it, thinking it was only a one off thing and nothing was ever going to show up on my desk. The final bell went for the day, and the scrapping and shuffling of papers and chairs came hurriedly to leave the premises.

I on the other hand didn't hurry. The last frayed edges of hope I had been holding on to dispersed and fluttered out the window. It was naïve to think that maybe they'd come up to me. Sasuke's fangirls did when they gave him chocolate or something, asking if he had received their gifts.

I was very naïve to think that the same would happen to me. I wasn't as special as Sasuke, I never was and never will. I would slap myself but wouldn't hurt as much as it would someone else. I gathered my things and slipped out of my seat.

I made it to the corridor in relative silence when someone yelled my name. I turned around, silent as I did so. I felt betrayed or something along those lines, but I brought it upon myself, so I should get over it.

Sasuke was running towards me, in short shorts and a half fitting top. Soccer. He was dressed for soccer. The metal studded boots he wore was a dead give away. He thumped loudly on the carpet, and I stopped for a bit to wonder if he would trip over if one of the spikes would get caught on a loose fibre. But he was a freak of a human and his actions graceful, I had disappointed myself again. He came to stop in front of me. I smiled in his arrival at my feet.

"You coming?" was all he asked, his hands on his hips. I thought for the slip second that I could think in.

"Yeah, just give me a bit" I accidentally smiled back. He chose to nod and turned around to jog back out the way he came in from. "Hurry up, I'll tell them your coming" he yelled as he exited. I nodded even thought I knew he wouldn't see. I hurried off, coach hated it when we were late.

* * *

Training was done in the rain. When I had stepped out of the changing room, it had just started to sprinkle. And as the training session when on, that sprinkle started to turn into a heavier drizzle, then an even heavier dribble and then hardcore downpour. The rain/mist combination made it hard to see; blurs of red dodged here and there. We, or rather they, thought it was be fun to just randomly tackle, like it was rugby. So we ended up playing Gaelic instead. By the time our session was over, the sky parted and the sun came out to dry the mud on us. 

We all headed back to the change rooms where we all took showers. It was so crowded in the boy's locker room that I took my stuff and went into the girls one next door. Obviously I had made sure that no one was in there. But I knew I didn't have to. Girl's soccer/hockey/netball whatever always trained at a different venue.

I slipped through the door and into the shower stalls where I started to do my business of bathing.

* * *

I wrapped a towel around my waist and found my stuff sitting as it was where I left it. But I smiled because I did. There resting among my dirty clothes was a single rose. A sweet blood love red rose. The typed card and everything, it was all there. I secured the towel around my waist and picked the rose up. It smelt as lovely as the first one.

I flipped the card and read it in the dim light of the girls change room.

_The sweet, rustic smell of the rain,  
Fills my nose, my head, and my brain.  
The springtime showers soak my dress,  
and toes tingle with a grassy caress.  
The beauty of this day is lost to me,  
As the deaf man hears not the melody.  
For all Nature's wonders seem so dim,  
When I am here, standing next to him._

_- Valerie Dawn Keller _

Yet again there was no sender. Just Valerie Dawn Keller. The door opened behind me and I reflectively hugged the rose close to me, as if it was something I treasured. Sasuke had poked his head through.

"Your still in here? We're going for pizza or something, you coming?" I looked at the rose contemplating whether to go or not. I nodded though. The rose can last an hour or so.

"Good, they've already gone ahead. I'll be outside" and he left with not as much as another word. I put the rose down on the bench and dressed.

When I exited back into the brightly lit outside, the rose in my hand, a sudden thought had hit me. How did they know. Know where I was? Know I'd be here after school. I never got an answer.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It Hate It. Review It. 

Thank you to all who reviewed. I was very shocked.  
Gaelic Football, is like half football half soccer. The boys at school play.  
It's Irish. Looks fun enough.  
Someone had wanted it longer. Just for you. Happy.


	3. I'm Scaring Myself

**A Lover's Dozen**

**I'm Scaring Myself.**

When I came home that night it was fairly late. Late enough for my mother to care. If she where to be alive, god bless her soul. The empty home echoed with unformed words of tender love and care. With all the lights off, the house seemed to glow. Glow with a sudden hazy happiness that shouldn't be here, that still lingered. Lingered as if the happiness will return to full when they stepped through the door. And I knew; I didn't even have to trick myself anymore, that they will never step through the house like they once did.

The vase, that I kept at the kitchen table radiated hope, hope that I didn't want. Not this sort of hope for this sort of happiness. I placed the new rose beside the other one. They both stood, crossing over, repelled to be in the same vase together, even though they were the same. Seemingly the same. So much like my parents.

I turned away from the scene to trudge up the stairs. I flicked on all the lights. Every single light switch was flicked before I came to a halt again in the kitchen. The artificial light gave an artificial glow; it was even more abnormal and unnatural as it hit the roses. I walked away for before I tempted to switch the light off so that the roses basked in their natural glow of the setting sun.

I threw my soccer uniform into the washing machine and every other article of clothing that needed to be washed. Once the machine was loaded I turned it on and it churned to life once my finger left its button. I left. There was nothing left to do in here.

My room was the only place that felt loved. I loved my room, it was so worn, like a good comfy pair of faded jeans. You can't bear to throw it away. I tickled my computer out of sleep mode, iTunes was where I left it. Paused on a song, I didn't bother looking at the title and continued to play it.

I flopped onto my bed. Even with the music on, it was starkly quite and I didn't like it. I wanted to yell, but that would disturb the music. I didn't have to, the piercing shrill tone of the phone did. And I made a clumsy attempt to pick it up. When I spoke into the phone, I must have breathed out to heavily, because it reverberated back into my ears.

"You okay? Not a bad time?" It's Sasuke. He always said that. 'Is it a bad time? I'll come back later' he always said that, but I'm glad, it made hanging up on him sometimes easier.

"Nah, not a bad time. What's up?" I turned the volume of music down a little.

"Nothing I was just.." there was a loud 'Sasuke' over on his side. He ignored it and kept going.

"just that.. you okay? You know?" no, I didn't and I told him that I didn't. he sighed before continuing.

"If there's something you want to talk to me about, don't hesitate like last time. You seem so.. out of it." I knew what he meant. I said my thanks, he had to go. His brother had wanted to use the phone. Sasuke had grudgingly gave it up with a 'remember, call me if you need to talk' and the phone when dead before I could mutter a 'I will'.

Was it that obvious? I hadn't thought so. I felt 'normal'. Like the way I was before. I put the phone back into the cradle and went down stairs, flicking the lights back off. As I was walking to the laundry to stare at the washing machine as it tumbled clothes around, I couldn't help but laugh at Sasuke's concern. He never showed it to the outside world, and it made me wonder. Why? It was short lived though when the washing machine went into a spastic spin cycle.

The floor started to vibrate from the intensity of the machine and I laid full body on the tiled floor. I closed my eyes. The sensation was funny, how it sort of bumped your head this way and that. It stopped and I knew that was the last time for this week. I took the wet clothes out and put it into the dryer. I leant against the wall as it worked.

When you discover something, you can't help but keep obsessing over it. you want to keep talking about it forever with someone until you found something interesting to takes its spot. Like Harry Potter. Everyone was so excited. They queued up for it, dressed up and what not. And the hype never ended until the first person finished reading it. And it was just about over. No one wanted to have the ending spoiled, and so those who wanted to talk about it couldn't. And everything went quiet. Harry Potter Mania. Over.

I felt like that first person who finished reading it now. I had to tell someone. But I couldn't. Because it felt stupid to. It would make it seem like I was bragging. But I wasn't, but knowing people, they would take it that way. And I didn't want that.

The rose thing was always lingering in my mind. The first time it was one off thing. It had meant to be a one off thing. But that one off, became a two off. And that two off wouldn't just stop there. It would stop when it had enough. Had enough stalking and sneaking. It could end 2 ways. One, they could just stop sending them. Or two, they came to confront me. In which I could die from their antics of a psychopathic stalker. Or, simply be shocked by who it was and have an awkward moment because of it.

What it was. I didn't want to know the ending. The ending was much too far and much too close for my liking and now, I really wished that the first rose was actually meant for Sasuke and not me.

So for now, I had to wait. Wait for whoever it is to stop sending me flowers and come to me. Unless I came to them. Their notes so vague, it was nearly impossible to find out who. But whatever or whoever it was, they must know where I am. They must know who I am. They're probably right under my nose and I wouldn't even pick them out from a crowd.

I'm thinking to deep. And I didn't want to. I'm scaring myself and it wasn't good. I'm imagining things. Little flickers of light here and there, shadows moving, things creeping. I shivered as an imaginary gust of wind swept through my body. The dryer stopped and I took the warm clothes out of it, into a basket and took it into my room. All the lights where off downstairs and all the ones upstairs except for my room.

I couldn't help but rush in and lean the door shut. I breathed out. Dumping the basket at the foot of my bed I quickly stripped and hopped in bed. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to forget. But I couldn't as I picture the stalker person and their gang of monsters. I'm scaring myself and I didn't like it. I shut my eyes, I hugged myself and tried to sleep. The light always on, I had gotten used to it on that it would feel frighteningly scary with out it. And I slept. Tried to sleep.

But a voice rang in my head. And I shivered. I'm just scaring myself.

_Gotcha. _

* * *

O.Dive Love It. Hate It. Review It.  
Just a little reflection.  
I'd be in this state if I where in the same situation.  
Would You?

Gaelic (in the last chapter) is the name of Irish Writing.  
Thankyou melchan13 for telling me.  
The Amount of responses is overwhelming for me.  
Thankyou so much.


	4. Third Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Third Rose.**

When I woke up that morning, I shivered. It was cold. Very cold. And its times like this I hate living in Melbourne. I gingerly peeked outside. It was still fairly dark. The clouds made sure it was, covering the sun as much as it could. They looked plump and full like a used baby nappy.

I didn't want to get out of bed. The night's dreams still ran chills up and down my spine, ending in a tingling sensation that left me cold and empty. I didn't want to get up. It was safe here. Too safe. And I knew it was stupid to stay in bed for so long. The clock was too dark to read so I didn't bother. I childishly stuck my head back under the covers. I still couldn't help a shiver that racked my body.

It was silly to stay. So I got up. The cold air hitting the warm sheets almost made me go back under and resurface when winter was over. We need snow days. Snow days would make everything a hell of a lot better during winter. I thumped on to the carpet and stayed there for a bit. Not relenting to move. I felt so sluggish and drowsy from a bad nights sleep.

But it's my fault. I know it is. I made that dream, I dreamt that dream and I'm tricking myself that it wasn't. I got up off the ground, my eyes no longer squinted shut from sleep. The bathroom tiles where cold when my feet touched them and I walked all the way to the sink on my tip toes, but they soon got tired so I had to endure the coldness.

* * *

The whole walk to school seemed a lot longer than I had remembered it last. I felt inclined to whip my head around whenever the wind whistled to close to my ear or the trees flipping wildly. I felt so alone. It was all quite, much like it had be the other day. The wind kept howling and whistling and it scared me. I would have dashed to school in a flurry but my conscience stopped me. It was foolish, I knew better than that to keep tricking myself.

Upon reaching the school I felt so relieved. The gates where closed and that frightened me. Had I come that early? When I came closer, it was open, the wind had blown it shut and I let out my breath that I held for no apparent reason.

The wind picked up again and I ran inside, silliness aside, I didn't care if they looked at me funny. I just wanted to get inside. I was dreading going to homeroom. I was also dreading going to soccer practise that afternoon too. I kept telling myself that there was nothing wrong, just some weird stalker taking in enjoyment of my frantic and scattered behaviour and relish in the victory when they would come and rape me.

That seemed to quicken my steps. Familiar faces seem to fade into strangers as I passed them down the hall, the way I was reacting made the stare at me as I hurried past and I didn't want that. I felt more inclined to keep walking at the fast pace that would be considered a run if running was allowed in the corridor.

I didn't want to go to class. I had contemplated skipping homeroom since he wouldn't be there. So I did. I fled like a coward. I vaguely here someone yell at me not to run but I didn't care. I ran. And ran I did as I past the classroom with eyes on me as I did so.

* * *

I heard the bell ring. I huddled in the stall, my bag on the dirty floor. I didn't care as long as I didn't have to attend class. I feel so stupid. But cowering in here and accepting the first rose. It was like a silent agreement, the fine print that you never bother to read but you know the consequences would be there when it comes knocking by.

I tucked my legs closer to my body and rested my head on my knees. It was cold in the bathroom. It was gritty and disgusting. I shivered at the thought of what they did in here to get it so filthy. It didn't take me long to stop thinking about it.

For the second time in my life, I felt utterly alone. Even if I were at school, there were tones of faces, people. But those people where strangers and they might as well not even be here. I still didn't have the guts to tell someone.

I sat alone in the bathroom stall, stalling for time. Homeroom had started not all that long ago, and I had the nerve not to wear a watch to keep track. Maybe it was better. Time kept ticking, if I had a watch to hear it tick. But I knew it was, through out the many clocks on the walls. Awaiting my arrival to the class where my stalker would hold yet another rose to deliver.

This time, I tried to use it wisely. But wise isn't my strongest point. I had always been plain. Plain old me. I wasn't special, no matter how much people told me I was. I guess I had been thinking about nothing for so long that when the bell rang again, I nearly jumped.

It was completely silent, except for the leaky tap that the school didn't bother fixing, calmed me a little. I still didn't feel like facing the stalker. So I stayed. It's the cowards way out. Stay as long as you feel ready. And I won't be ready until the last bell rings. And that wouldn't anytime soon.

* * *

I couldn't take it anymore. It was recess and I could hear voices outside the bathroom. People came and went and I didn't feel like listening to people pee all day. So I left. I dusted my bag and went down the corridor down to my locker. And I froze. One moment there was a million people floating along the corridor. Sasuke had finished putting his things away with his morbidly fanatic fan girls trailing him, and the next, there was not so much as an ant crowding the corridor and left behind was the rose.

Jammed into the slits of the metal door, it hung the white card present as usual. I started backing away, there was no one to see my horror. But it was yet again myself tricking me. I made it so bad last night that it was like reliving a nightmare. But this time, it was bright and the edges weren't as dark as they were supposed to be.

I carefully plucked the rose out of the slits and read the card.

_You are friendly, kind and caring  
Sensitive, loyal and understanding  
Humorous, fun, secure and true  
Always there... yes that's you._

_Special, accepting, exciting and wise  
Truthful and helpful, with honest blue eyes  
Confiding, forgiving, cheerful and bright  
Yes that's you... not one bit of spite._

_You're one of a kind, different from others  
Generous, charming, but not one that smothers  
Optimistic, thoughtful, happy and game  
But not just another... in the long chain._

_Appreciative, warm and precious like gold  
Our friendship won't tarnish or ever grow old  
You'll always be there, I know that is true  
I'll always be here... always for you._

_- Written and owned by Angela Lee Hillsley –_

Friend. Friendship. They're someone I know. Someone I must have considered a friend. Someone that I spent time with, someone that I must have cared for. It made me think. And rattle with fear. If it's someone I knew, I've been friends with the stalker for a considerate amount of time. And now, they decide its time to make their move. I couldn't describe the fear that seeped through my skin as sweat as I fingered the petals. They were always so soft, soft like velvet, or a babies bottom.

And I nearly screamed when a finger tapped me on the shoulder.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

A little longer than it would normally be.  
Hope it's up to standard. I feel that I'm losing bits here and there.  
And that I'm confusing people. Please feel free to contact me through review or private message or whatever and tell me. I will try to clear it up.


	5. Fourth Rose I

**A Lover's Dozen **

**Fourth Rose I **

It was Monday. The weekend couldn't have gone by any faster than it had. Sakura had approached me on Friday, asking me to go out on Saturday, like a friend thing. Normally I would have jumped to the occasion, but I flew an 'I've got something to do'. She saw something in me, because I saw something in her, and she left me be. The weekend was fast and nothing bothered to disturb me except for when Iruka, the next door neighbour, came over.

I walked to school a little bit more confident. The wind had died down to a soft breeze that brought promise of Spring. August was nearly over now. With the rate that the days were coming and going now, it wouldn't be a surprise that The Melbourne Cup would be here soon.

The sun shone somewhat brightly, the clouds weren't as depressing and all seemed well. I could feel a good day coming on. You could tell when these things happened, the birds would sing and insects always seemed to be in your face. It was one of those days, I nearly swallowed a bug.

When I had sat down on my table, staring out into the yard, the class that was present where murmuring something, everyone seemed to be murmuring about the same thing because they all got together eventually to whisper as a large group. All huddled in a corner as if a bubble were surrounding them and privacy was allowed.

When the bell rang, like it did every morning, the rest of the class filed in and didn't hesitate to start the whispering and spreading of whatever. I started to feel a little self conscious. What if it was about me? It was sort of weird for me to receive those roses. It was on my table in plain view and stuck in my locker another time. I hugged myself, tucking in my stomach and stared out the window, trying to ignore them.

The whispering started to get out of hand and become general talking. I wasn't surprised that a teacher came in and told us to shut up. But when that teacher was Kakashi sensei, you had to raise an eyebrow. He told us to sit in our seats and we all did, obeying the normally absent teacher. He seemed a little ruffled, like he'd been slapped and it was the after effect and shock of what happened.

"You would have probably all heard by now" his voice was disgruntled. There was a murmur that stifled through out the classroom as students turned around to whisper to each other. A curt cough from Kakashi set the children sitting straight again.

He pulled a piece of folded paper out of his pocket and began to read.

"Students, we would like to inform that Phiktor Marshall has committed suicide. Found early this morning, we would like to support and help anyone related or associated with Phiktor. We would do the best we could to.." the door slid open and Sasuke and another student slumped in. They both wore the same expression, mourn and sorrow. I couldn't help but feel a pang of something, even if I didn't know the kid.

"We advise that all who were associated with Phiktor to come seek the counsellor's guidance. We are in deep sorrow that we had lost a valuable student, and yet again we encourage that those students and teachers seek the counsellor. The counsellor will be available to everyone anytime during this week and next, found at the infirmary it will be open from 8.00am to 4.30pm.

"We give out condolences to the Marshall Family and we give them hope and strength and support to help you through this time. Thankyou"

A few girls started to cry. It wasn't often that someone would take their life like that. Sasuke sniffled behind me; Phiktor must have been a friend of his. I turned around; the happiness that was meant to be was sucked out of it. The sky had grown dark, the sun disappearing behind a large cloud.

The girl, in particular a white girl started to ball rather loudly. Her friends immediately rushed to her, soothing her by rubbing soothing circles around her back and whispering soft words of comfort and condolence.

I found the scene heart wrenching and I turned away. I looked at the only stable person in the class, and even then, Kakashi was on the verge of a break down. He kept sneaking his hand to wipe away the tears. I felt compelled to cry myself. Just because the time called for it, I shouldn't spread fake tears. Even if they weren't that fake.

I looked behind me, Sasuke was sobbing silently to himself. I was about ready to cry seeing Sasuke so broken. It stabbed my heart and pricked my eyes. He gave a heartbreaking sniff and covered his face with his hands, his tears slipping past his barrier eagerly, slipping down his arm and onto the table where it stained the plastic top.

"Sasuke?" I asked, my voice came as a whisper, too loud and it might have shattered him into pieces, like his insides must be right now. I got out of my seat and knelt beside him. I rubbed one hand along his back, hoping to soothe him. I would have but he abruptly stood up and ran for the door, he tripped on me and staggered to keep balance before rushing out the door.

Something inside me must have clicked and he ran out the door. I made it to the door as he turned into the corridor, I could just reach his hand when another pulled me back. I looked back and Kakashi shook his head at me.

I stuck my head out the door and see him clumsily run off to turn around a corner. I watched the empty corridor; his heavy shoes making echoes waver through the air until it was too far to reach my ears.

I had seen the glimpse of pure sadness that leaked of his body. Part of me wanted to go with him. Part of me told me to stay, there was nothing I could do or say to make him feel any better than he already did. Kakashi had left to tend to the wailing girl. I too felt sorry for her.

I couldn't handle the sadness that was so thick it could be bottled and sold. It felt so wrong. It leached at me, threatening to pour into me. I didn't want that. I was selfish again. Not wanting to feel upset and sad, it repulsed me for a while.

I turned out of the classroom and sat outside. But I could still hear her crying. So I sat outside, on the front steps of the school. And outside I sat, thinking of how upset Sasuke must be right now. But I left him be. I opted for watching the rain fall instead. Ironic.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

SoyNerve- Lets Work Hard. Cheers, to keep writing.

The letter/announcement is probably wrong and confusing.  
But, I vaguely remember some aspects of one when a similar situation occurred at my school. You can make it up as you go along.  
I was going to put another half in, but I decided against it. It'll be put up the next day anyway so you won't miss out.


	6. Fourth Rose II

**A Lover's Dozen **

**Fourth Rose II **

The rest of the day was mostly filled with empty classes as most people went to comfort others in the infirmary. I didn't feel inclined to go help since I didn't know him very well. Some people abused the privilege of leaving class, and I'm sure that they just went home, lying that they couldn't stand coming to school.

Sasuke didn't come back to class at all. He's either at the infirmary or at home. Which, I didn't know. I was hoping that he'd be here for band after school. But I remembered not to keep my hopes up. After all, when I was in the same situation, I didn't come to keep him company. I didn't blame him for leaving me.

I played the violin. It was an instrument my mother loved to listen to. She loved playing the piano, even if she was blind; she was a beautiful and skilled pianist. She had told me that all good musicians had a disability. A disability to create something from the heart. I didn't understand. I never fully understood, but I sort of got it. When it was just a little bit too late. A good musician had the disability to expose one self for complete and utter rejection.

I got my violin from the room where all the instruments where kept, Sasuke's flute was next to mine. I slid my case off the shelf and walked back into the main auditorium where we would play.

Chairs where set up and stands were there, the music already placed. Students where tuning their instruments and I proceeded to do the same. I unzipped my case open. When my day couldn't get any worse, the blood red rose glared at me. It was a much more brilliant red, like it was angry that I resented the previous owner of the flower.

It had rolled to the side as I carried it back. The rose was curled up; it hadn't opened fully to release its beauty. But I didn't admire it. The ever present card was slid in between the strings of the violin. I removed it carefully. I read it, as I have the others.

_So dear I love him that with him,  
All deaths I could endure.  
Without him, live no life.  
-William Shakespeare _

The colour drained from my face. I felt it drop from my face and to my stomach, it churned and I felt sick. I snapped the card shut and slipped it into the compartment where the rosin is kept. I left the rose in darkness after I had taken my violin out. I didn't want to deal with this. A thought jumped at my head, but I pushed it away. I didn't to think about it now. I started to tune the instrument, shaking as I did so.

It was obvious; I had an idea of whom. But things change, in a blink of an eye, the whole world was crumbling down at your feet. So until I had some hard evidence, I wasn't going to blame them.

The conductor called for our attention and I was glad to give it. Anything was a good distraction. I focused solely on music, willing my mind to stop telling me lies.

* * *

O.Dive Love It. Hate It. Review It.

The Musician Disability. Something I made up. I find that I have this, maybe you do to.  
You'd all probably know who it is by now. An inkling if not.  
You maybe right or you maybe wrong.


	7. I Did Though I

**A Lover's Dozen **

**I Did Though. **

I had run home that night. After band, I took the rose angrily. Its petals fluttered about as I ran. When I stuffed it with the rest of the roses it stood out the most. The most violent red and the most used. I didn't go back into the kitchen for the rest of the night.

I locked myself in my room and turned the music fully up. It hurt to listen but it soothed me to an extent, it all fell as background noise in the end. I thought of Sasuke. He must be in so much pain right now.

I sent him a dozen text messages through out the day yesterday as I lived school without him. It sat close to 8pm and I thought it might be a good time to call him. The phone was right beside me, in case he would text back. I dialled his number. It rang a few times before it was picked up.

"Hello?" straight away I knew it was Sasuke, Sasuke had this phone voice, and it was different from his brothers.

"Sasuke?" I had to ask. "Are you okay?" I heard him sniff and I knew it wasn't just because of his runny nose. He would have flinched and tensed, if I knew him as well as I did.

"I don't know" he sounded so dead, I wanted to hold him like he did me and comfort him, to tell him that everything would be okay. That everything would be fine. Absolutely fine. But I was never a good liar.

"I'm coming over" I said with as much authority and confirmation as I could, just hoping that he would just give in at the tone of my voice. But he didn't because a 'no' fled from his mouth as soon as I suggested it.

"Too bad" and I hung up. He didn't live far from where I lived. Around a few corners and I'd be there. I changed quickly and grabbed and umbrella. It was still raining pretty heavily. The weather forecast is never right.

I left the hallway lights on, and the one in the front room. I locked the front door and I set off into the night.

The walk to Sasuke's house was a lot closer than school. The rain beat down on my umbrella at a constant rate. Its drumming kept my ears loud; it soon faded away into the background.

I didn't notice it stop until I stepped on a snail. A shiver spread through me and I felt gross, I walked on tip toes the rest of the way, looking at the ground, watching the slugs crawl lazily.

It wasn't long til I came to Sasuke's house. The street was eerily silent and a soft mist of rain was sprinkling. I knocked on the door. Sasuke soon opened it. He was still in his uniform, it was creased, he had probably slept in it.

"I told you not to come" he avoided my eyes, opting to look at the shoes that were neatly placed by the door.

"I did though" I said softly, the mood felt for something like this, nothing to loud or brash.

"I'm not letting you in" his voice was a little more firm, trying to keep his superior status. It didn't work. I'm his friend, so I told him so.

"Just, go home Naruto" and he closed the door on me. I yelled at him that I'd stay here all night, but he said he couldn't care less and that I could stay in the cold. And so I did. I huddled together, sitting on the small step and leant against the door. It was going to be a long night, but I had to do it. Sasuke needed this right now.

* * *

O.Dive Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

I don't Like Snails. They are squishy and make the most horrifyingly disgusting sound when you step on them.  
Not the best chapter again.  
One of my least favourites.  
Anything that you're not understanding, or clear with, I will try my best to clear it up.

I was thinking of maybe letting one lucky reviewer have the chance to have a scene written. It could be the main character (which most of you have dubbed 'Naruto') receiving a rose, or just a chapter where you get to see 'Naruto' nut things out.

Just a suggestion.

Good? Bad?  
Let's Try It.


	8. I Did Though II

**A Lover's Dozen **

**I Did Though II. **

And like I had promised I stayed there all night. Sasuke had come again every now and then to see if I was still here. Each time I had grinned at him, still marking my promise and keeping put.

His mother had invited me in a couple of times, but Sasuke's angry voice would filter through the air and tell her not to. She'd smile apologetically and refill my tea. She was such a kind women. How she ever raised Sasuke was beyond me. He's such a trouble child.

It's been too long since I've been here. A few hours to say the least. I didn't care though, if Sasuke was going to ignore me all night, then so be it. But I'm not leaving. I assumed it was pretty late when the sky dropped its colour to a dull blue and the stars accumulated more each time I bothered to raise my head.

Somewhere along the way of my stubbornness, Sasuke had come. He had probably been crying still, and I felt sorry that I had burdened him the whole night. He had to endure me and Phiktor. I suddenly felt truly selfish and stupid.

"Come on, if your gonna stay the whole night, you might as well come in." the fly screen door creaked opened as he stepped out of the way to let me in. He avoided eye contact and I didn't blame him.

His home was homey. It wasn't as bleak as mine. I felt so at ease when I glanced around the home. His brother was drinking tea while reading and talking to his mother while she worked. I felt a pang of forlorn spread through me. I had this once. And if it had continued to roll out like this, I could have had something equally as beautiful. A family.

But I found it sad that no one had bothered to look at Sasuke. He was a crying wreck and they seemingly didn't care. I knew it was me though. Sasuke's mother would glimpse at him a long period of time when he passed the kitchen. Even when he had disappeared upstairs, her eyes still lingered on his spot, I was afraid she'd scald herself if she wasn't careful. And Itachi, his brother, had hushed down his voice to a bear minimum, he was whispering his worry toward Sasuke to his mother. A family. I was instantly envious.

Sasuke stood at the top of the stairs, waiting for me to come. He obviously wasn't in the mood to play with me. He had that distant look in his eyes. I quickly met up with him and he continued to his room. Yet again the same homey feeling spread through the rest of the house and I felt comfortably alone and bare.

His room was much like mine. The same comfy feeling. A really good pair of jeans. Or maybe in his case a hoodie. Posters lined the walls, canvas paintings of pictures that he took of his friends hung everywhere. It was like stepping into a gallery. A private gallery of memories.

I felt so odd in the room I stood in front of the closed door. Sasuke had sat on his bed.

"So what did you want" he voice didn't hint at anything. He was dying for a hug, and I could feel it radiating off him. But he didn't want to after my stupid stunt. I sat on the carpeted floor and stared up at him.

"Talk to me" was all I simply said. He didn't want to open up.

"I know its going to be hard for you. But you know how damaging it will be if you don't tell someone. Please Sasuke, don't make it any harder than it should be." He didn't bother to respond. He'd know I give him all the time in the world, and he would speak when he was ready. I knew that. He knew that I knew.

I glanced off to the side and saw a picture, the same canvas pictures that hung on the wall, except that this one had Sasuke and another boy smiling and laughing. It was just a head shot. They probably had their arms around each others shoulders. The happy expression compared to the depressed one in front of me was a complete contrast.

Why it wasn't on the walls I didn't know until I saw an empty spot I didn't fail to see before. And then I knew that, he must have been Phiktor. He was good looking. Pale skin much like Sasuke's, he had an Asian appearance, but he had the most brilliant blue eyes. He had nice hair, beautiful dark brown hair. I was envious of his looks straight away. I had wondered if he was Sasuke's boyfriend. If he was that way. He sighed.

"Yeah, that's Phiktor" his voice cracked and he cleared it before spoke again. But he didn't so silence too its place.

"Was he your boyfriend?" I had to ask. I got curious. It wasn't like I didn't like gay people. It got to me sometimes, but I chose to ignore it, they had their own choice of living.

"Once upon a time, yes" a small poignant smile sat comfortable at his lips and shaped the rest of his face. I nodded understanding. The smile on Phiktor's face killed me to look at him, so I turned away.

We locked eyes and he quickly broke away. I sat up on the bed. The bed creaked as it supported both our weights. He wiped away at a tear. I couldn't help myself. I launched myself at him and dragged him down with me when I flopped down on the mattress.

We lay in a sprawled mess. He had found his way to my chest and started sobbing and crying as hard as he could. He curled over me, his hips against mine, connected together like it once had been. While he wept he told me about everything about Phiktor. Sasuke was taller than me by a lot, so it seemed strange, our position, but it worked in the end.

When Sasuke kept talking about how good a person Phiktor had been, I felt as if I was getting to know him. Getting to know him through Sasuke. As if I had known him all my lifetime, and I was reliving the events we had shared. It was my first time knowing him, and it felt so right to call him a friend. And I soon too, started to cry. I hugged Sasuke close to me as he cried. He was so helpless, like a new born child.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

Not a lot to say.  
Anything that's unclear, please tell me and I will explain as best as I can.

Sasuke's canvas photos are inspired by a product found in Australia. They print your photos or art onto canvases. it a little more thought.   
I can have one reviewer have their idea of a chapter written and posted.   
All you have to do is send in the idea (a poem is helpful, but not essential, if you want him to receive a rose). The one I find the most interesting, or just a really good idea, I will write up. Depending on how many responses I get, this will take place. Hurry and write in your ideas! No idea will not be read and I will not mark down un-poem-ed ideas.


	9. Silver Lining

**A Lover's Dozen **

**Silver Lining. **

When I woke up that morning, I was tucked securely under the covers with Sasuke beside me. His arm was on my chest and I levered it gently off of me. The sun had risen high in the sky and school must have started a long time ago. I don't remember ever going to sleep.

Sasuke's serene face was so angelic, how the bright morning light streamed in through the Venetian blinds. I didn't want to leave but I had to. But I berated myself to stay a little longer and I gave in. I have no self control or motivation.

I watched as the light hits his face and illuminates him, he's so at peace and I had an urge to touch him. Just his face or something, just to see if he was real. He was so angelic, he could be hardly human. And that was another reason why I loved my friend.

I almost reached out to him, almost, until he started to stir. He squeezed his eyes closer to him and his brow knotted. I ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down, whispering words of comfort softly into his ear. It seemed to work because he visibly relaxed.

I had to go. I took a pencil and paper and scrawled something down quickly. I folded it into his hand and he clenched onto it. The simple gesture pulled at my heart and mind to stay a little longer, until he was awake at least. But I couldn't. I knew that. I always knew.

With one last glimpse I slipped away from the room. I imagined a whimper come from him. My mind. Its all in my mind. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and yawned, quietly going downstairs. The house was empty except for Itachi who sat once again at the dining table. He appeared to be studying but fell asleep.

I decided to let him sleep. The brothers seemed to need it. Mr. and Mrs. Uchiha weren't around, so I assumed they went to work. I left via the front door, closing it quietly as possible as I left.

The sun was glaring brightly and I wished I hadn't left. Too late to turn back now. I walked home, school would be over in 3 hours, there was no point going now. Lunch took an hour anyway.

The stalker popped into my mind and I didn't want to think of them anymore. It's too stressful knowing that I have someone tailing me. Some people might be happy that this is happening it them. I'm definitely not.

The stalker wouldn't know I had been at Sasuke's so it was all okay. I wouldn't have to face their present until tomorrow. I could stand that. I could stand a whole day to myself with out worrying. I walked the rest of the way home in manufactured happiness.

I checked my mailbox and it held nothing but a letter. At first I panicked but felt stupid because I should have known that letter anywhere. It was an old friend. They had moved back to Korea and we still stayed in touch.

Kiba was an international student that came to study for a bit before his student visa expired. I should have known that it was him; he would send a letter every month. Not at the same time though. But it didn't matter. I hurried inside to read it.

I read it in my room; I always had to have music playing. Something filling my ears was better than nothing. I removed the letter and read it. It said that he was having fun back in Korea, but he also missed us. Many things happened about festivals and stuff about school. The last part made me smile though.

Kiba had written that his family where planning on migrating to Australia. They said they should be here by New Years. I was so happy. I was shaking with excitement that I couldn't help myself and wrote one straight back. It would be delivered to him in a week or so.

Finally, something to look forward to. A very thin silver lining of the cloud that has been my life.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

I feel that my voice is changing. Through the last couple of chapters.  
Do you think so?  
Even if I have written it over about a weeks period, I've already started to change.  
Is it good or bad?  
Something I need to know.

Oh, I don't like this chapter either. Just wanted to end on the "A very thin silver lining of the cloud that has been my life." quote, by me.


	10. Fifth And Sixth Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Fifth and Sixth.**

**2 Birds With One Bat.**

I woke up earlier than usual, probably because I slept for the majority of the day yesterday. After posting the letter to Kiba I had went straight to bed. It was 5am when I woke. I didn't know what to do for 2 hours so I laid in bed, just thinking. Nothing more, nothing less. I made sure that I didn't thought too deep about the rose problem.

* * *

I'm sitting in class and it's boring. Specialist's maths is always so boring. Gaara had made it fun. But he's not here, he has a bug that's floating around. He hasn't been at school for about a week. I hope someone had told him about.. Phiktor. 

The teacher droned on and on and on about some stupid formula. I don't really care. It was all the same crap to me. I contemplated skipping class again. Last time I went and hid it sparked the rebellious side of me once again, but I knew I shouldn't, not what I did to everyone because of it.

I nearly had to endure the double period when the PA system sounded. Sweet relief for a minute or so. Or maybe the rest of the class. My name was spoken swiftly through out the school and I clambered my things together before rushing out the door.

I hadn't thought what about why I had to go to the office until now. Maybe it was because I staked out in the toilets? It seemed bizarre. I hadn't done anything wrong, maybe that was it. My lack of enthusiasm to cause mischief must be on their concern.

I scaled the hallways, everyone was in class and there were no loiterers. The office was around the next corner. I felt myself panic, I always did when I had caused trouble. The heart would start beating a hell of a lot faster, I'd start feeling the sense to run away, I'd stop and start walking. It's all tricks in the mind, I couldn't help it though.

I knocked on the door and they let me in. The first person I saw was Kakashi. And funnily enough, the only person I saw. He said that Tsunade was attending some other business. I nodded, still not knowing what was going on. I figured that maybe math might be more interesting than this. Haha, but the power of what ever god is up there or down here, something so cruel sat on her principals desk.

Oh yes, sweet beautiful roses. The only difference was, it was in an office that I shouldn't have been in, I'm obviously not the only one to have found then and read the message, and something else but I'll figure it out later.

Kakashi picked up the two roses, two, different, and swirled them around in his hand, looking at them with the utmost fascination. The stalker would always pick out the roses with no thorns, or maybe he simply bought the sort that was thorn deprived.

He made a noise with his tongue and swirled the roses once more. The way the light illuminated the petals was different too, they seemed more see through. He cleared his throat, clearly wanting to speak but he didn't choose to. Maybe to choose his words carefully.

When I received that rose yesterday, all my suspicions of the stalker diminished. I had no clue and I was so sure of who it was. I was at the starting plate, waiting to bat, the pitcher laughed at me. I felt angry so I perched the wooden bat in my hands waiting to whack something that would hurt his pride, but it only hurt mine, I had missed. Kakashi cleared his throat again.

"I guess, your wondering why you're here" he looked at my like I'm meant to answer, so I nodded my head. He took it and kept going. He held up the roses.

"We found these in Phiktor's locker." He didn't even need to finish his sentence before my heart started to beat faster than it should. A million thoughts rushed through my head and I struggled to catch a coherent one as it flew by. My head started to spin and I felt dizzy. He continued, failing to notice my sudden paleness.

"We're wondering, if you knew anything about these?" he held them out to me, the cards in his other hand. I took them with a shaky hand. What have I done..

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

Thankyou to everyone. Your response has been great and wow. Thankyou all so much. Thankyou thankyou thankyou. LOVE!

It's short. I know.The next chapter will be longer.  
Pinky Promise.

Still accepting chapter ideas. You don't need a poem. All you need is an idea or an imagination, and a description. Vague or Detailed. Your choice. What ever floats your boat.


	11. Seventh Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Seventh Rose.  
Hat Trick.**

I hadn't thought much. Frankly, I never thought a lot anyway. And when I grabbed the two roses in my hands, the only thought I had was to run. So I did. I used to always act on impulse, and whether it was then or now, I did what came to mind first. The cards where shoved in my other hand as I made my frantic escape. Kakashi wasn't keen on keeping them either.

I bolted from the office; I vaguely saw the outline of Tsunade coming back from whatever she had been doing. The one thing that I had thought of, after running, was I needed to get out of here. I couldn't stay here, not when I had discovered two roses in a dead man's locker.

So I dashed to the only place I could think of. I felt sick as I ran and it made my destination even more perfect. I rounded a few corners and bashed my way out the side doors. The wood left a smarting sting against my head and arm but that was a price I was willing to pay to get to the toilets next to the tennis courts.

The roses and cards burnt and cut into my skin as I ran, I held them so tight. I had wanted to let them go so badly, but I couldn't, I was panic stricken and I knew if I let them go, I would turn back around to pick them up.

I burst into the bathroom and leaned my head over the metal sink. I half expected something to come out, but it didn't. There was a lump in my throat and I desperately wanted it to come out. I stuck my fingers down my throat, the roses dropped to the ground. It came up as soon as I let them go down far enough.

I dropped down to my knees and let my head dangle over the edge. My breath came in raspy pants and I threw up again. I shivered. I turned on the tap and watched as the water mixed with the vomit and made it watery and slushy. I fought the urge to throw up again. I couldn't fight it and it spilt from my mouth. I was never a strong person.

I heard the door rattle and I snatched the roses off the ground and ran to the last cubicle. I couldn't help shivering, my whole body racked with tiny convulsions. My hands felt deadly cold and my face burned. My heart quickened in my chest and I was afraid it might jump and turn to the side from all the pumping.

The door opened slightly and a pair of expensive shoes stepped into the dirty tiled floors. You could tell they where expensive, they made that expensive clippity clop. He made an annoyed noise and let the tap run a little longer before turning it off. He was obviously disgusted by the sink that he left immediately afterwards. I sighed in relief.

I sat on the lidded seat and leant against the wall. I felt hot and yet I still shivered. For the first time I opened and read the notes. I was afraid, I didn't want to know.

_"Love from one side hurts, but love from two sides heals."  
-__William Shakespeare_

I flipped it shut and read the next one.

_Just wait and see  
You gotta hear what I say  
I'm in love with you  
I'm not so far away_

_-Someday Someday, Thirsty Merc_

My head was spinning by now and I felt hot and cold at the same time. My hands felt sweaty and clammy. I rubbed my palms across my pants and cracked my knuckles. The action sent a little calm through me, hearing the cricks and feeling the lasting tension throb away.

I pulled at my hair, anything, I needed to calm down. My body felt like it forgot how to live and it was doing whatever it pleased. Out of sync, out of tune, out of order.

My body shook as another shiver ran across me. The door swung absently on its own making a shrill squeak, the lights streaming in from the window making everything bright, I closed my eyes. It was too bright.

My knees started wobbling and my hands went into frantic shaking mode, like I had arthritis or something. I clutched my head to stop them from shaking and to stop the head ache I was getting.

I have never felt so terrified in my whole entire life. The way this person keeps delivering these roses, and theses messages! I'm over reacting, I know, I've told myself many times before but I can't help it. They were so daunting, everywhere you turned, you'd see a rose. The weekend had been the best. I hadn't moved an inch from my bed, the thought of home comforted me, but there was at least half a day left.

Night after night as I sat and ate dinner, staring at the roses, I had wished that the first one was meant for Sasuke. I know, I sound mean and selfish and whatever, but I know he would deal with it a hell of a lot better than I am right now. I felt like crying, but the stern voice of my father told me to shut up. So I did.

And, and, and the fact that they found these in Phiktor's locker made it worse. Was I the reason that he killed himself? Maybe the fact that I started disappearing and everything once I got one? Maybe it was me. Maybe I killed him. The way I reacted killed him, killed him and his heart in one swift blow.

I'm a murderer. I killed Phiktor Marshall. The thought sent out a new army of shivers to charge up and down everywhere. I was shivering so hard I was afraid of falling off the seat.

I needed something to do. I didn't want to go back to class, not like this, it would raise too much suspicion. I fret around the cubicle wondering what to do. I had to something. Something that allowed me to stay in here. I need something to do!!

I rattled around my pockets. I felt the cards and avoided it. I patted down everywhere; I had to have something in my pockets. Every time I fumbled for something, I would end up clutching the pocket full of cards. I would stumble back and forth from pocket to pocket and cards. I had flicked them out, read them like I've never seen them before and shove them back in with a new bout of fear.

I pulled my knees in toward my chest, clutching myself so tight my muscles ached but it was a nice distraction. I swallowed hard, but I had nothing to swallow down, only the remnants of my stomach from earlier. I felt disgusting, like I was dirty, I am dirty. My hands are dirty, everywhere I'm dirty. I flexed my fingers. I feel so dirty, a dirty murderer.

I feel something slip away from and fall to the ground in a thundering smash. It startled me more than it should, I knew, I always knew. The echo rang louder than it should and when it came to a silence, every thing was still. I glanced down and saw the flash of metallic green. I scooped it up and shook the tin. My heart beat erratically against my chest as I fumbled to flip the lid up. I finally got past it to tip a drop onto my hand. I threw it in my mouth without a second thought. I sucked on the tablet, clicking open and clicking shut the case. The blast of mint ran through the walls of my mouth and down my throat. It escalated to my nose and I could feel the cold breeze as I breathed in and out. The feeling was surprisingly calming, like a baby and its thumb.

I ate one after on after one until there where none left. I had to get more once I got out of here. My heart didn't stop its relentless beating and it made me even hotter. I lost count of how long I had been in here. I didn't want to know anymore. I felt numb inside.

I couldn't take sitting here anymore. I needed to get out. I needed fresh air. I need something else than the four walls of a toilet block. I picked up my bag and swung it onto my back. I contemplated taking the roses with me, and I did.

As I came out of the tiny cubicle, I looked in the mirror, my image was dishevelled in the dirty mirror but I could see I looked dead. Dead like.. I didn't even want to go there. But what made me scream was the reflection I saw in there with me. Phiktor stared at me, his blue eyes as blue, maybe bluer than mine. I ran.

And I kept running. The rest of the school was still in class and I tried not to yell so loud. I fled through the grounds, students wondering around whizzed pasted and looked at me funny. I didn't care, not when you have something tailing you.

I ran out the school gates, I felt like I was running for no reason, but every time I turned around; there he was giving me the same strange staring expression. So I kept running. Like a sane person would. And every time a I glanced up from the ground he would be there staring at me, the ever present expression, never changing never ending, like he couldn't change it, the wind had gotten to him.

I couldn't help myself and screamed when he phased out of no where in front of me. I had just turned a corner when I swear I had bumped into him. I changed my path and kept running. My hands started to sweat again and I rubbed them profusely on my pants. I had risked stumbling, I had stumbled, and I would have fallen to the pavement if it weren't for my fevering attempt at escape.

I had to get away.

Seriously.

I felt like I was trapped in some vicious cycle of a nightmare, everywhere I ran to, I would always see him. He was always on the green side of things, trying to cajole me. It was all a bad dream and I'm seconds away from waking, I just have to jumpstart that awakening.

I didn't stop running though. Nothing in the world could stop me from running right now. I veered myself onto another street that would eventually wind its way back to my house.

And so I ran, ran until I would die, which wouldn't be now. And all the way I could hear him. His voice smooth like lead, and just about as deadly. I screwed my eyes shut and kept running. My bag jumped jaggedly against my back, it hurt, but I couldn't stop, wouldn't stop, never stop.

I turned my head to the side, he was walking casually beside me. It made me angry, was he proving that I wasn't as good as he thought I was? I ran harder, faster, stronger. Taking longer strides; I kept running until I slammed into the letter box. I rolled on the grass, grass stains inevitably scratched into my knees and elbows. I lay panting, I felt like I was dying. If dying felt like you were about to throw up your lungs.

He stood at my head, I strained my head to look up at him. His blue eyes sank into mine and I know I had lost. I lost everything. But I wouldn't give up; I couldn't, not because of him. I got up in a jolt and I knew he was as surprised as I was that I was still able to move. I didn't even think that maybe, just maybe I was over reacting, no, not even if this was foolish. No. I picked up the rose that was on my door step and he smiled. A heart wrenchingly beautiful smile. I win.

And, like all good moments, everything comes crashing down on you when the one coherent and logical thought comes to mind. I. Have. A. Rose. In. My. Hand. I started to shake in fear again. He smiled even wider and I knew it was him. It was his entire fault. It was his entire fault that this is happening.

I flipped the card.

_And I know,  
It takes 22 steps,  
From the walk to your door,  
It takes 22 steps,  
Because I've tried it before,  
And one day I'll knock,  
But just not yet._

_-22 Steps, Damien Leith _

I looked up and he was still standing there, the mirth in his eyes told me that he would be laughing. But he wasn't. And it irked me even more. Then, reality caught up to me again. Once again.

They know where I live. He knows where I live.

What to do, what to do, what to do! I shivered from a cold gust of wind, he pointed in a random direction. I did the opposite and ran in another direction, turning left instead of right. I ran as far as I could, and I didn't want to run anymore.

I had had enough. No more. I quit, give up, surrender. I tripped on something and fell. My body felt like it was submerged in icy water while it was set on fire. The heat and coolness didn't bring any relief to each other. I lose. There was no more. I had nothing left. They knew too much. They know everything.

I felt like a pawn. But pawns had their time to shine right? When they become queens?

But how many make it to the very end?

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

Holy Blank. I've made it longer for you because I felt that I owed it to you because I've been updating tiny baby chapters. It took me ages to write. There will be mistakes, because I felt like if I was as panicky as Naruto is, it might make it all the more realistic. And he is hallucinating. My brother raised a point that "he's alive" and no, he's not. I hope you got that.

To tell you the truth, I didn't expect it to turn out like this. I had a vague image, but nothing like this. I think I might have dragged it on for too long, but that's the way he thinks. This is one of my favourite chapters.

Damien Leith is the 2006 Australian Idol winner. This song, 22 Steps, is one of his newer ones. Thirsty Merc is an Australian band; Someday Someday is one of songs that associates with something in my life. But I'm not going to share.

The Green Box that he dropped in the toilet? Eclipse Spearmint Mints. My addiction.

There so much more I want to explain. So, if theres anything you don't understand, I am always willing to explain to you.

**CHAPTER IDEAS. LET THEM ROLL! Your running out of time.  
**


	12. More Than Perfect

**A Lover's Dozen**

**More Than Perfect.**

I don't remember going to sleep. I don't remember anything at all. Nothing I want to remember anyway. I woke up to the faint humming of a voice and the splashing of water. I wanted to open my eyes. Oh how I wanted to. But I couldn't. My eyelids felt heavy and I knew I wouldn't be able to hold them up longer than I thought I could.

Faint hands touched my face and they were cool, it felt wonderful against my hot skin. The hands pulled at something and it slipped away from me. I opened my eyes, they didn't feel so heavy anymore.

"You really are an idiot" I smiled. Accidentally, smiled accidentally. The insult came as a soothing relief to my ears, I didn't hear him. Anyone but him. They noticed me smiling and raised a perfect brow. Everything about them was so perfect.

They sighed and rung the towel in a small tub thing, they replaced it on my forehead and sighed. I could tell that they where itching to know what I had been doing. What I had done.

They shift to sit them selves at the foot of the bed. She's trying to find the right words, I can tell, she does this thing with her hands, and her eyes dart around as if she's reading something and her mouth twitches to form words. She opens her mouth to speak, I wait eagerly but there's nothing.

I sit up, the blood drains from my head causing a dizzy sensation, she pushes me down with her hand. There's scowl on her face; she pulls cover over me some more and replaces the towel on my forehead. I look in her eyes, despite the fact she's scowling, her eyes ask a whole different question. I want to answer it so badly; I want to tell her everything. But I bite my tongue. Somehow I couldn't, it would spill out from my mouth one day, better late than never. But is it too late for never?

"I know" I say. That's the only thing I manage. My throat burns from screaming before. She turns her eyes away, I hope she understands. I fiddle with my shirt under the covers. She fiddles with her skirt, fixing her pleats; they looked perfectly fine to me. She was always so perfect. It made me think of how much of a screw up I am.

"I don't" was her whispered reply. I let my eyes slide close, relishing in the sensation of comfort. I so badly wanted to tell her. I wanted to yell and scream and tell her about everything. Absolutely everything. And I caught myself, opening my mouth, I nearly did it. I closed my mouth. She was waiting patiently for my answer. I couldn't give it to her.

She's looking at me with her green eyes. Her vibrant green eyes that seemed as light as grass but as brilliant as a fluoro highlighter. I couldn't say no to those eyes. Those where the eyes that I envied, those eyes told me that everything would be okay, those eyes that could tell if I lied.

Sakura waited, I couldn't stall much longer, she lips where pursed and she leant forward, she was obviously going to get something out of me. I looked away. I'm being draw in. The bed creaks as she shuffles herself closer.

I sit up in bed, she makes to push me down again, the same scowl on, but I stop her, telling her not to, she picks up the cloth that's fallen from my head. She retreats her hand. I tell her to come over and she does obediently. She sits next to me, I rethink my thought, is it really a good idea? I thought so. She was leaning close again, she was really eager to get something out of me.

I leaned in toward her too, I thought she would move away. But she didn't. Maybe she thought I was on going to whisper to her. I didn't know.

And.

I kissed her.

Not on the cheek or anything. But fully.

On the lips.

I kissed her. On the lips.

And at that moment, she understood. She understood everything, everything that I didn't want to say. She understood. I moved my arm around her head to pull us closer together. She shuffles even closer to me, shuffling ever so slowly toward me.

I pull her into my lap and we continue. I knew she wanted more. The way her hand sneaked to play with my hair, and the other on my chest and the way she would deliberately move to dig her hip into mine.

I opened my mouth and she wondered in. She was always dominant. She was an overpowering women, her motives were always planned out, her decisions final and she never did anything wrong.

We did this for a while. We did it as friends. Nothing more, nothing less. It couldn't be anything else than just friendship, it wouldn't work. And we've tested it. In year 7, the happiness lasted but we knew it had to end, we were better off friends. It was year 7, year 7 was stupid. Maybe her one mistake.

When we did break apart, she ended it with a simple kiss. We stayed with out lips connected, no tongue, no fumbling hands, no taking off of clothes. Nothing, just a simple kiss. I opened my eyes that I couldn't remember closing, her face was flushed pink the way it always did when we kissed.

I tucked her under the covers with me. She buried her head into the crook of my neck as I secured her position by pulling the blankets over the both of us. And there we stayed.

"I get it" she mumbled into my neck.

I'm glad, she was always smart. Perfectly smart, just like everything else of her. She comes close to Sasuke. Sasuke was just a perfect freak. Nothing more, nothing less.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

**Because I Have An Opinion Too:** This is still a Yaoi/Shounen ai. I find it surprising that people start to assume things just because something random happens. Thankyou to those reviewers that are positive. This will still be 'a SasuNaru' or whatever. I guess I totally forgot that authors have no opinion and that we only write to entertain. Sorry, this made me angry.

I haven't tricked anybody. I haven't screwed up anything. This will still be a Yaoi. A ShounenAi. There's a reason its 'Naruto and Sasuke' as main characters. People have put me off writing. Thanks alot guys.

**CHAPTER IDEAS! Time Is Running Out.**


	13. Long Weekend

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Long Weekend.**

It felt weird to have her on my lap again; my legs were numb and I just noticed how heavy she was. But it felt perfect none the less. She had fallen asleep. I couldn't comprehend how long we were like this. I continued to stroke her hair.

It still felt wrong though, sitting here at her house, in her room, with her on my lap. Her mother had come home not so long ago. She had come in and the look of peace on her daughters face drove her away. She had hated me. Because I was different. Because I was me.

She had to wake up now. It was late and I'm sure her mother didn't want me over. She had told me many times before. I didn't need to hear it again. I wiggled my toes and the jolts of pain known as pins and needles sifted through my feet.

I shook her lightly while whispering her name. She was a heavy sleeper. I should have known that, I had always known. I shook her harder and she stirred a bit. Her eyes squeezed tightly behind her eyelids as I shook her again.

"Come on Sakura." She lifted her head up off my shoulder and it felt cold. She rubbed her eyes and smiled at me.

"Better?" I didn't know what to say. I shrugged instead. She turned her eyes away and got off my lap. Her warmth instantly gone, I was left cold. We sat in awkward silence, I small smile tugged at my lips and I couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Sakura's eyes face me, asking.

"Another gay child is born" I smiled lightly. Sakura got it and she smiled too. I was something Sasuke had said in an awkward silence when we were going out one day. It was funnier when everything wasn't as damp.

"Your mum's home" I said. She didn't look too happy about this. I told her not to worry and that everything was alright. She shook her head and got off the bed. The ruffling of blankets as she exited left me shivering, it was cold outside. She said she'd be back. And she left.

I was left alone to myself. Her room was like how I left it. Simple. There's a few more things that she's added to it. Sasuke must have told her about the Big Prints thing, because she has the sticker photo's blown up. She still has the photo of her and me when we skipped school to go to Photoplus. We were so different then, even if it was a couple of years ago.

Everything's so much shorter now. The days go by so fast, and then it's Christmas. You wouldn't even realize until you think about it. I blame global warming.

She was always neat and tidy. Such a contrast compared to us. Everything had their own little place, their own little stow away. Compartments of draws and in boxes, out boxes, pencil holders everything. Even her jewellery had one of those hand things to store them all on. It was like walking into Ikea. I wonder if she still organizes her emails.

The door opened and Sakura walked back in. She looked a little angrier than before. Her green eyes shone bright like the eclipse mints. God I want one now. She marched huffily to sit at her desk, she crosses her legs and uncrossed them and crossed them again. Her arms dangled awkwardly on her lap.

I look at her and I didn't even need to say anything to know that she and her mother had a little 'fight'. Her lips go all pout-y after she's had a fight, with the people that she cares for the most. I would know, she's done that look so many times after Sasuke told her to stop being such a bimbo. But she's not a bimbo, I know it, Sasuke knows it, she knows it.

"I can go" I say as I get up. Her mother only ever argues about me to Sakura. The way 'she could do better' and 'he's not what I see raising her children'. But come on lady, we were young, it's not like it would have lasted, even if it did, it would still have ended in the same way. We just cut it short.

She stands up with me and looks me deep in the eyes, I turn my head away, she makes me feel small, like I'm inferior, probably because I am. Her carpets still the same and you can just make out the little stain of, I forgot what it was now, that happened because of something that I forgot too.

"Your staying for dinner." She says affirmatively.

"I can't, your mum.."

"I don't care, you're staying" you can't say no to that voice. Not when her brother's probably in the next room. I sigh and I know I've lost. I always loose to Sakura. There's never a way to win unless you're Sasuke. But even he doesn't stand a chance anymore.

"I've got training tomorrow"

"We can wake up early" I love it how she says we, like I'm not alone. I give her a smile and it reassures hers her that I stay. She knows too much. But I love her because she does. I sit back down on the bed and everything's silent. The only thing that could be heard is the theme song for the 5 o'clock news and the blaring of the exhaust fan in the kitchen.

I sigh. Do I have another choice? With the way she's looking at me, I suppose not. I tell her fine, and she smiles at me. I smile back, its not an accident this time. She gets up and comes to sit next to me.

"Every things going to be fine" sounds good doesn't it.

* * *

Dinner went by relatively quickly. Everyone seemed pretty okay with me being there. Sakura's mother though, was furious. She kept asking me questions about school and how my grades where and stuff. I felt intimidated, Sakura was a spitting image of her mother, but I like Sakura more.

Every time Sakura's dad would want to ask me a question, and her brother, she would kick them down with a question of her own; asking about school to home to whatever else there is to make me feel even more stupid.

I could tell that Sakura was angry, the way she attacked her peas. I wanted to whisper to her to calm down, but her mother would interrupt and she would get even angrier. I could say that dinner was a success, for a police interrogation.

Sakura's mother had offered Sakura to do the dishes, she had to take it, there was no choice. So I decided to help, much to her mother's distain. They didn't care, I came here often enough.

I washed and she dried. The process was painfully slow. I need music. I felt like talking. I felt like talking to her, like we used to; a way to help her forget about her mother and just focus on what we're talking about. I hated it when Sakura starts to plot avenge on her mother. The way she treats her because she's a girl and that she went out with me. I wished I never did. I feel so bad. I always have whenever she and her mother start fighting about me.

"Have you seen Sasuke lately?" there was nothing to say. I didn't even know what to say.

"Yeah, saw him yesterday. I feel sorry for him. We should do something to get him out of that house" she was right. We needed to do something.

"Don't we have a long weekend?" if I paid attention enough, Monday was a Curriculum Day. Long weekend. I smiled to myself.

"Yeah we do. Got something planned?" I grinned. Sasuke better like this.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

Yeah, well, I might as well put this one up as well. I don't really have anything else. Put off writing now. I'll still continue. I don't know. Not everyone can love it.

By the looks of it, I don't think that anyone's going to send in idea's, I should have mentioned it earlier.

Thankyou for your continuous support.


	14. Knock Knock

**A Lover's Dozen**

Knock Knock.  


It looked stormy today. The clouds where the same shade of grey and it felt cold. I could feel water in my hair already. It didn't seem like a good day, but I was happy, sort of. Sakura and I had woken up early like she said and we got to school with my gear.

I had to hide the roses from Sakura; I had forgotten that I had left them on my lawn yesterday. The sickening sensation had come and I wished it didn't. I was sure that she had seen them but she didn't say anything about it. I was thankful. I shoved them with the rest of the other roses. It seemed so different. The blood love roses compared to the ruffled roses. The earlier ones seemed to be dying a bit.

I was changing for soccer now. It was crowded as always and I couldn't go to the girls side to change. They had hockey today. I had told everyone, everyone meaning friends, friends meaning people that I hang round with, that we were going on a trip this weekend. Most of them had said yes to go. I just needed to tell Sasuke.

Sasuke wasn't at school today though. He hasn't been at school all week. I'm starting to get a little worried. I hope he's okay, I'll go over there tonight. His face appears in my mind and my heart clenches painfully, the hurt expression, the tears. Sasuke must be dying. This trip has got to be his cure.

We all go to the oval, it's raining now, lightly, but by looking at the clouds you could tell that it was going to be heavier. We did the usual thing, we did drills and stuff. It wasn't that exciting. And as each drill got more tiring, and as it got more annoying, the rain fell harder and harder. When we were playing a game, the rain fell so hard, it hurt. So we didn't play anymore.

I couldn't be bothered changing, I was already sick. Couldn't get any worse. I had trudged home. The rain didn't stop; I found a bus and caught that home. I felt like lying down. But I had promised myself that I would go to Sasuke's. I shivered, the house was so cold.

* * *

Outside was even colder. By the time I had finished my shower and ate something it was well and truly 7.30. The rain hadn't stopped. The snails had popped out again, the streetlamps didn't make for very good lighting and the moon had lost its way in the clouds. 

Sasuke's house looked more depressing that usual. I noticed that it was because the lights were out. Had they gone out? But Sasuke's room light was on. Hopefully it's him. I approached the front door and knocked. There was no response so I knocked again.

I heard footsteps and a fumble, and something similar to falling down the stairs. That can't be good.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

I've been an ass. I over react like I normally do. I'm sorry.  
Massive voice change, I need to find the original again.  
Thankyou, just because.

Do you find that when you write, you write yourself in a corner? I think I have.


	15. Panic Attack

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Panic Attack.**

That seriously couldn't be good. I tried the door and smacked myself that I didn't think of it before. It swung open easily. I stumbled into the dark entrance. I didn't bother fumbling around for a light switch; I wouldn't have found it anyway.

Sasuke, I had hoped, groaned. I called out for him and I didn't hear a reply. I yelled again. Why wouldn't he respond? I tripped on something and crawled my way to the stairs. In the light of whatever light was available, I could see Sasuke, sprawled like a lazy dog. He had his eyes closed and that made me panic a bit.

I did what any sane person would do. Call his name. Any sane person that didn't know how to handle this situation any better that is. He didn't respond. I was panicky and I didn't know what do to. The stairs leading up to the second floor curved, so that you'd end up with a face full of wall if you fell. I faintly wondered if he bashed his head against the wall.

I wanted to pick him up but I remembered someone saying that isn't a good idea. So I let him be. Something kicked at my thigh and I glanced at Sasuke. His head moved ever so slightly and I felt a heck of a lot better. He maybe dying, but that means his still living.

"Sasuke?" I got a groan in reply. At least I know I'm not being ignored. I asked him what happened and he said he tripped. I asked him if he was hurt and he said he wasn't. I told him to see if he could stand and he tried. He leant on the banister to steady himself. His knees buckled and he collapsed. I caught him before he could fall again. He leant on me and told me he had twisted his ankle.

I swept him off the ground and carried him all the way to his room. He maybe taller than me, but he was thin, a healthily thin. I lay him down on his bed and he sat up, he examined his ankle, he was probably better at it than I was. He always checked out my wounds when I got hurt. He was like his mother, so much like his mother. His mother was a nurse.

It was silent and I didn't want to kill it. I didn't have to though.

"What are you doing here?" the response came out of my mouth easily. He looked kind of sceptical about it at first. But then I said it would be good for him. It was better than lying in bed all day moping. He had glared at me about that.

"But the beach?" he gave me an 'are you an idiot' look. It was close enough to Spring, and the August air was giving away to the sun to reign the skies again. I told him it was a pretty good idea. We all haven't been out in a while, together.

He seemed to think about it for a bit and I let him think. The more I looked at Sasuke, the more troubling it was for me. There seemed to be something wrong, he looked deathly pale and he looked thinner. I just hoped whatever Sasuke had been doing wasn't the wrong thing.

He agreed soon after saying that it would be good. I smiled and he saw me smile and return it. Sasuke can't lie here for the rest of his life. He's wasting it. I want to stay longer but I don't think Sasuke would want that. I got up off the floor and said that I might as well get going.

He grabbed my wrist. I looked at his long fingers, the way it wrapped around my small wrist. Piano fingers. I was jealous, my fingers where stumpy. I looked at him instead. He was looking at the carpet.

"Stay? Please?" the vulnerability on his face killed me. The way he spoke softly and didn't look at my eyes really hurt. The trip was really going to help him. Friends were the cure for anything.

I nodded and sat beside him. The silence was welcoming and we both stared at out laps, his fingers slid down from my wrist to my hand, I opened mine enough for his fingers to slip through. He needed this, so I let him. His fingers were cold, cold like he had died. And it was part truth, he had died. His heart and died, and it wasn't pumping for love anymore.

I felt his fingers tremor and I clutched his hand tighter in mine, he squeezed back equally as hard. I was his lifeline at the moment, he hung on for dear life and I was pulling him through. I hoped I was a strong enough line to pull him out of his sea of misery. I hoped I was good enough for Sasuke, because I definitely knew that I wasn't. But that wasn't my place to say.

I leant my head on his shoulder, he knew what it meant. I knew what it meant. We knew why we did this, because we were friends, best friends if he believed in that sort of thing. And this was normal. Perfectly normal.

I heard footsteps down stairs; Sasuke didn't seem to notice it. A call for Sasuke rippled through our silence and he answered back. He squeezed my hand t his fingers slip away. The conversation was insignificant to me.

I just sat on his bed, my fingers left cold from where Sasuke had been. It lay like a dead puppet waiting for Sasuke's hand to come back and bring it back to life. I glanced at the portrait that still lay unhung on the floor where I had seen it last. Phiktor's eyes looked at me and I didn't like it.

I felt the same panicky feeling I had the day before, my stomach started to feel sick. I tipped the canvas over with my foot, his face going into the carpet. I pushed it under the bed. I took deep breathes, and that obviously wasn't good enough. My hands started to shake and then my body followed suit. I needed to get out of here. The blue eyes marred my mind and I wanted to get away from here as fast as I can. But I promised Sasuke that I'd stay.

And stayed I did, the shaking and nauseousness with it.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

The chapters are getting harder and harder to write. And I'm just past halfway done with the roses. Oh my. I died during this chapter, expression and whatever died. R.I.P til next chapter, Expression.


	16. A Trip To Remember

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Driving Thr****ough Sunflowers And Memories.  
A Trip To Remember.**

It was an early start. We all had said that we'd meet at the freeway entrance at about 4am. Sakura had suggested some place that I don't remember; she said we could rent beach houses. Most of us were going to stay the whole 3 days; some had to head back earlier.

Sakura had insisted that she drive us. She was the oldest of the three of us and thought that all the times that we helped her that she should help us back. She had begged her brother to borrow his car, he obviously didn't agree at first but then, I don't know what changed his mind.

Sasuke and I had met up on the corner of Sakura's street and walked down together. He seemed pretty out of it still, it was freezing out and he was wearing a tee-shirt. I felt like smacking him. He said that he was fine and if it did get too cold he had a jumper in his bag. I didn't get his logic.

We had gotten to Sakura's house to be greeted by yelling. The voices were recognisable, Sakura and her brother. We stood outside until they were done. It was too early for yelling and I had to stifle a yawn. Sasuke leant on me as he slept. He face was the same serene I had seen before. I wrapped my arm around his waist to stop him from toppling over. He in turn, wrapped his arm around my shoulders and dug his head into my shoulder. He mustn't have slept a lot last night.

Sakura stormed out the door a while later yelling obscenities at her brother. Her brother in turn yelled at her. It was too early for this. Sasuke agreed. She threw her bag into the trunk after she forcefully pulled it open. There was an anger filled wail because of that. I took Sasuke and my bags and put it into the back, Sasuke hadn't bothered to fully wake up.

We got into the car with her brother yelling things at Sakura. She drove out of the drive way and stuck her hand out. I peered into the mirror to see she flipped him the birdie. I chuckled. Sasuke shifted to get comfortable, he was sprawled over the backseat and wanted me to stay and be his pillow. Sakura had laughed, I did too.

We were late. The streets where empty and it felt weird. The sky was still dark and the sun was just starting to peak over the mountain. Sakura turned on the radio and the very early morning talk show people where talking about how birds being I don't know, tuned in halfway.

We sped down the roads and got to our destination a little over time. Everyone's cars where scattered over the entrance. There were no cars except for us. A few, but they all honked at us and we just flipped them off. Sasuke was still asleep on my lap and I couldn't feel my legs anymore.

I had to make conversation out the window. It seemed that all of us were here and that all we had to do now was to get Sakura to lead.

The drive was silent except for the radio. Sakura and I had talked but we would get too loud and Sasuke would tell us to shut up. We'd laugh and the cycle would repeat itself, until Sasuke figured out that he was close enough to punch me in balls. We continued though, once more until I really didn't feel like getting hit. It was silent for a bit and Sasuke sighed, saying finally. We laughed, a little too loud, and I copped it big time.

The others were tailing behind, each in their own little world, their own little pod. It was nice being able to have everyone together again. It's been a long time since we've ALL been at one place at one time besides school, but even then.

Sakura veered off the freeway to stop at a petrol station. We had driven for about an hour; she had said she wanted gum and some water. It was a good idea; stock ourselves with heaps of junk. Personally, I was dying for some mint.

There were 4 cars and we'd filled about half of the station. We were like fat kids in a candy store, we ran around the shop, collecting candy and gum and mint and chips and drinks and everything. It was probably the fact that we woke up so early. We were all high. Except for Sasuke. He stayed in the car.

All of us were alertly exhausted, like Neji, he was about to fall asleep but he kept scanning the shelves for random items that we probably didn't need. And Lee was just Lee; he's a jumping nut bag any time of the day. But I was happy, for once, in this week, I wouldn't get any roses. I feel relieved.

With mountains of junk we all headed back to the cars and we stepped back onto the freeway and continued our journey. I set the bags of stuff on the carpeted ground of the backseat place. I sat at the front, Sasuke was stubborn, he had found a comfy position and didn't want to move, so he says. So I just sat at the front.

I popped open the tin of mints and offered one to Sakura who took one and sucked on it. I did the same. The freeway ended and it was just a long stretch of road. It was bland. There were trees and grass and cows and horses and sheep. There wasn't a lot more else other than that.

The car fell silent and we just listened to the radio. It was nice, to have the three of us like this again. It made me smile at how this reminded me of when Sasuke had first gotten his P's and wanted to take us to Saint Kilda Beach. It was the middle of summer in the holidays, a few days after New Years. Everything had been fine until we got to the beach, we had the windows rolled down and had nothing on but our bathers. The leather seats burned and we had to sit on towels. We didn't even go near the beach. I laughed out loud quietly to myself. Sakura had asked why I was laughing. I told her and she laughed too.

That launched us into a whole field day of memories. Dragging out memories of the hilarious. Sasuke had woken up properly since he claimed that we talked to loud. But it was probably just so that would make sure we didn't say anything bad about him. I looked at him through the rear view and sniggered at the reflection. One of his cheeks was bright red from lying down on the leather, I laughed, and Sakura laughed, and Sasuke didn't laugh.

Its times like this that made me love living. Not matter what happened, its moments like this that keep us alive. Anyone. Doesn't matter who, it keeps us going. And to make things even better the next kilometre or so was just another highlight that would make this a trip to remember.

The sun was well and truly in the sky and it was about 7am. It was sunny, meaning that hopefully, we would have a good day of sunshine. There weren't any clouds to kill the mood and a light breeze would have been blowing. We rolled down the windows as the massive pitch of sunflowers whizzed by.

The morning high still hadn't left so I knelt on the seat and stuck my head outside. I waved at the cars behind us madly, the wind whipping my face and I wouldn't be surprised if I had wind burn after this. I reached over the side to the blur of sunflowers and reached my hand to grab one. Sakura swerved the car closer and I nearly fell out. I laughed anyway. I snagged one, pulling the roots with it. I pulled the roots off and threw it back. I threw the rest at Sasuke.

Lee had stuck his head out of whoever's car and started yelling. I couldn't hear but I yelled back anyway. I leaned out a little to far and Sasuke yelled at me being stupid and grabbed onto my tee before I fell out. He pulled me back into my seat.

I was in a bout of laughter and I couldn't stop. Laughing is infectious and soon Sakura laughed and when we thought Sasuke wouldn't laugh, he burst out laughing too. And it was unexplainable, the mood that filled the car, it was so happy. I looked out the window, the laughter settling down. As the sunflowers whizzed by, I couldn't help but feel that this is going to be really good for Sasuke.

I looked at him through the rear view mirror, and he was lounged comfortably. He had propped his head on the window sill, and he spun the flower gently between his fingers watching the rest of them go by. His face was already looking healthier, a tinge of pink from the laughing. The smile still stayed there and I was glad.

This is going to be very good for Sasuke.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

I liked this chapter. My 'voice'/'expression' has changed. But it was to suit the happy mood. The sunflower field is found in Italy, on the way to Florence I think. I'm not sure. I read it in a book. **Are we there yet? **By **David Levithan**. The same guy that wrote **Boy Meets Boy**.

There is no Sunflower Field on a Random stretch of road in Australia. But you can still come to see the giant pebble stuck in the ground :)

I learnt to walk on St. Kilda Beach. Ahaha, don't stalk me. 8D


	17. Away From It All

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Away From It All.  
Word Games, Wrong Turns and Wasabi Peas.**

It was uncharacteristically warm and it was bordering hot. I had taken over for Sakura, she had whined that she was tired and wanted to sleep. Sasuke had gotten his license taken away. Drink driving. I had no choice but to drive. It nearly gave me a heart attack when she randomly stopped on the road. By the scream that Sasuke let go, he probably had one too.

Neji honked at us. When I had gotten round to the drivers side I peeked at the distance between us. No insect could fit through that gap. I made my breathing even and stepped back into the car. The adrenaline pulsed through me and I told myself to calm down. Worked a bit.

* * *

"Gin" Sakura yelled triumphantly. We were playing some word game out of sheer boredom. Sasuke mulled over it for a while. It was silent except for the umming and ahhing about a word. His brows knit together and a smile cracked on my face. He lost. 

Sakura threw him the box of mints and he looked at it with disgust. Sasuke hates mint, he only tolerated it because of toothpaste. I laughed as he popped open the tin lid, the scent must have wafted up to his sensitive nose and he moved it away. He tipped a drop onto his palm and glared at it. I nearly veered into a pole.

"Add another Sasuke" Sakura smiled. He tipped another into the palm of his hand and hesitated before throwing it into his mouth. He must have took one mighty suck cause he opened his mouth, his face wrought with agony. Sakura and I died laughing.

* * *

My stomach growled and I smiled sheepishly. Sasuke rummaged through the bags of random crap we bought and pulled out a tin of something. I didn't notice, I was being a good driver, eyes on the road. 

Sakura cracked the tin open and shoved her hand in front of my face. I couldn't see so I just sucked up whatever it was. Once I had started eating the little ball which at first was some weird Asian thing turned out to be wasabi peas. My mouth burned and I didn't fail to let Sakura and Sasuke know. Sakura and Sasuke cackled to themselves having a good time at my suspense.

* * *

When you sit in a car, with your family, there's always silence. From the many times that I've hitched a ride from Sasuke, there'd always be an awkward silence. No one would speak, the radio wasn't even on and the only sound that filtered through the windows was the sound of other cars playing their music too loud. 

But when your out with friends going to out to a club or something, there's never enough to say. There would be always constant conversation and the night would roll with voice after voice after voice.

But here I am, with friends with the silence of a family car ride. It wasn't awkward but there must have been more things to say than this. I found it oddly comforting. It made us a family, a family of friends. We didn't have to be loud and obnoxious like we would with other people and we didn't have to stay completely silent like we would with family members.

Sakura had fallen asleep and Sasuke was dazing off into space with the flower still in between in his fingers. It felt nice, nice nice; like simple nice. Like a nice dress instead of those fancy ones you can get. Plain nice.

I've been driving for 2 hours since we last stopped. I had missed a turn and we had spent half an hour mulling over an old edition of Melway Street Directory with Sakura and Ino in my face yelling at me, while the hot sun beat down on us and the heat from the car nearly melting the plastic cover off the directory. I was the only one to find it funny and impressive. Shino had found the way back though. He was always good with these things.

There wasn't long to go I had suspected, I wanted to wake Sakura up to ask her if I'm still going the right way. I turned to my left to poke her but the site of the ocean told me that we were nearly there. We had made it.

We had made it. Made it away from the city. Away from the fumes. Away from the people, the school, the money, the rush. The everything. Away from depression, away from sadness, from stress, from life. Just to live for a little bit.

But most of all, away from _our _lives. Away to bask for the little time we have to be ourselves instead of what people want us to be. To be ourselves. I smiled. I smiled wider. This was really going to be good and I could feel it in my blood.

No more worries, no more pressure. No more Phiktor. No more roses.

Just ourselves. Being ourselves. And enjoying ourselves.

Yeah, this is going to be good.

For all of us.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

I had written myself into a corner after the word game. It's the 'change a letter to make a new word' one.  
Once again, I don't know where this place is.  
If it's like where ever you are, or somewhere like it.  
Tell me. I want to go.

Spelling mistakes, they're everywhere.  
Spot The Mistakes :)  
I'll fix them.

Live and be You. Thankyou.


	18. I Know

**A Lover's Dozen**

**I Know.**

I woke up. And that was it. The sun wasn't streaming in through the window like it would in the morning. I shuffled back into the covers of a bed that a million people have slept in and forced myself to shut down again. My mind was exhausted from driving and memories. The bad always stalked the good.

I feint sleep, rolling onto my side and barraging myself in a tight cocoon. My feet were getting cold, I pulled them into myself. I felt my nose run and I sniffed. I better not get a cold. Especially not now, not when.. just not now.

I yawned and closed my eyes. It felt warm and it was disturbing for a bit when my head decided to think about it. How many people have slept in here, how many people have stepped on these sheets, how many people have done anything on these beds? Are these sheets even clean? I cringed and curled my toes closer to me. I felt stupid. I'm already in here. It didn't help the shudder of disgust.

I didn't want to go outside. It reminded me of those ethnic language schools that mother would make me attend on Saturday mornings. It's for your heritage she would say, it will come in good use when you're older she berated, I'll take you out afterwards she would promise. She always did.

I wiped the tear from my face, either from her sweet voice or from the sense of waking up. I don't think too much about it. I turn again. We, as in girls, went to rent rooms while the rest of us fella's stood around and waited. I didn't care what arrangement they made, as long as I could sleep.

My nose was really running and I had to get out. No one was in the room anymore. Two single beds. I forgot who's in the one next to mine. I rummaged around the room to find a box of tissues, and stingy places like this there weren't any. I had to substitute for toilet paper.

I yawned and stretch, satisfied when my joints popped. It always sent some sort of relief through me. I like the sound. I wondered around, I couldn't find the door, only did I see the gleam of metal did I realized where it was. Everything blended in together.

I rubbed at my eyes and strained them to see in the very bright hallway. The sun was very high in the sky and the skylight had served its purpose. I never liked skylights; they were there when you didn't need them. Like in a classroom. I had to steady myself with the banister as I padded down the cold floor board stairs. I hated these kind of stairs too, the kind where it's only the bit where you step on. I feel paranoid; I could slip through one of them. I shuddered, I stopped before I continued. Really paranoid.

I flicked my dead hair out of my eyes and landed safely on the polished floor boards of the ground floor. It was bright again with all the blinds drawn back. I could see the rest of them outside frolicking in the sun. I smiled, but it quickly shrank away when I saw that Sasuke wasn't one of them.

I heard loud laughing so I walked toward it. I rubbed my arms, even if it was warm I felt cold. And I couldn't shake the feeling away. I didn't like it. There was no reason to feel this way. I straightened out my wrinkled tee.

The t.v was on some talk show, Sasuke sprawled out on the couch reading. Why bother coming when he was doing the exact same thing at home. Just a change of location. This wasn't why I dragged him out here.

I turned off the t.v; they were starting to talk about nonsense, and sat on the coffee table in front of Sasuke. He looked up from the book he was reading to regard me for the minute to return back to reading. I sighed and took the book away from him. I would have if he didn't tense his fingers harshly around it.

I yanked and his hands followed, I pushed it down into his lap. His hands followed. He looked at me. I looked at him. It was a staring competition, I knew, he knew. He had his stubborn face on.

"Why aren't you outside?" he wanted to blink, I could see the nerve under his eye twitch.

"Why aren't you?"

"Sleeping. Go outside"

"Why don't you?"

"I am"

"Good"

"You're coming" I yanked the book and he came up with it, not relenting his hold. He protested but I didn't really care. He was going to go prance in that sea or else I'm shoving sand down his pants.

He makes to sit back down but I hold him steady. He's really going to be stubborn. He's avoiding my gaze to look out the window. There was more beach and Sakura was chasing Shikamaru for some reason. She jumped on him and they fell in a mess of sand. Obviously their happy faces and fun wasn't what Sasuke wanted to see so he turned his head back round the other way.

"You came for a reason" he blinked and didn't say anything. I let him go and he fell back onto the couch. I study his face and all I get is reluctance and stubbornness. I sigh.

"It's so like you Uchiha; to just go back on your word" I give him a hard look and walk away. If he wasn't going to enjoy the little vacation we had before VCE testing came; then too bad. I climbed the stairs loudly, planting foot after foot. I opened random doors until I found my room. I tore open my bag and rummage through the neatly folded clothes.

I jammed my board shorts on and slipped the wetsuit tee over my head. The anger rose into my mouth and I could taste the bitterness of what it is. I shook my head. This isn't the time to get angry at anything, at Sasuke.

I opened the door, if Sasuke wasn't going to have fun, then he's not gonna stop me from having any. The room was dark and I was baffled for a minute before my eyes adjusted to the brightly lit hallway. That minute was enough time for Sasuke to jump me. I knew it was him, there was no else here.

He had knocked me hard and caught me by surprise. His hip dug painfully into mine, and I registered how thin he was, while our legs fumbled together like complicated looking tv cables. His palms shoved into my shoulders so I wouldn't move. His eyes were right above mine. I could see the rage swirling in his eyes. I stared back, I couldn't turn my head away. He had really dark eyes.

I can't even see his lips move.

"I don't go back on my word" his eyes narrowed as he ground the words out, I shivered. I had forgotten how frightening Sasuke's anger can get. He shoved me into the cold ground and stepped over me toward the stairs. I watched his retreating back smirking as he did so.

"I know"

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

Argh. Something died. A Rose is coming soon. I promise.

I died writing this. Couldn't think of anything. I can't even see the scene in my head. Is this what writers block is? It's depressing. Pray that it would go away.

Spelling, grammer - Spot anything. Tell me. It's like a game. Spot The Mistake.


	19. Eighth Rose

**A Lover's Dozen **

**Eighth Rose. **

The sky shone bright like an ornament in a Swarovski shop. The sea reflected the ever yonder of sky that stretched over our heads for hours. The sky stayed pure blue, strands of wispy clouds floated aimlessly, dawdlingly slow as they went.

The sea below was as cool as it looked and as clear as any bottled water. I felt so at home being at the beach again. The cool sea breeze swung though our hair leaving it raspy and tousled.

I sat on the shallow end of the sea, slowly being knocked back and forth with the tide. It was so peaceful. I breathed in the salty air and smiled. It felt just like what home used to be. I miss Queensland. I have an urge to go surfing, but the waves weren't picking up and I would float like a seal on a rock for hours and still not catch a wave. Maybe tomorrow.

After Sasuke had thrown me into the ground he had stalked out to join everyone else. First he was reluctant and stayed on the beach just watching everyone else. Some goading and other forms of persuasion we had gotten Sasuke into the water.

Ten Ten came splashing over, her demented run kicked up water as she did so. She stopped short in front of me and offered a hand. I took it and she hoisted me up. We joined the rest of them.

* * *

I felt all pruney. My fingers wrinkled like something dried prunes. I wiped them on my shorts and the sensation felt awful and weird. I lay down on the beach. I didn't care if the sand stuck to me, it would all come off later. I closed my eyes and let the sun seep through my skin, staining it another shade of brown. It tingled and I rubbed my arms, dry granules of sand tip toes under my fingers only to drop and join the rest. 

I felt so relaxed. I wish I could stay here forever. Or if I could go back to Queensland. But I don't want to leave behind all this. All them. Everyone. They were all having fun, splashing around and having a swim in the sea or building sandcastles or attempting to fish. I didn't want to leave all of this. Not when I've got something good going for me for once. And Kiba was coming soon; a few months would go by quickly. I wonder if the others have heard.

I close my eyes and let the sun continue to sink into my skin. I breathed in deeply; the air gallivanted through my lungs invigorating the surfy I once was. I'm really looking forward to having that surf. We could all do it. Took me a day to learn. I grinned at the prospect of 10 or more people attempting to stand on boards and surf. The weather better be up for it, because I'm sure we are.

I exhaled. God this was good. I inhaled and the air was promptly knocked out of me when someone fell on me. A wet body wrapped their cold arms around me and snuggled their head into my shoulder. The dainty fingers and scrawny body would have been either one of two people. I wouldn't know.

"Ahh Save me! Neji's being an ass" and I laughed. Gaara clung onto me tighter as I heard the sand shift when Neji came clomping up the beach. I wrapped an arm around him and gave Neji a playful look. He sent one back.

Gaara was one of those emo-ish gay love love people. You can't explain Gaara. He was unique in a Gaara way. Like the way he did his hair, bright red, so bright sometimes it looked pink. And contacts, coloured, he had those thick emo/Asian glasses as well. But that's why we loved Gaara, screwed up and lovable.

Neji stood by my right hip, his hair dripping water onto the sand, leaving it darker. He gave a me a cocky look and kicked my side. I turned away from him slightly bringling Gaara closer to me.

"What do you want?" I threatened with a smile. I'm the worse killer.

"I want my bitch back" and I saw the smile from my angle and I laughed. Gaara did too. Neji only chuckled.

"Well, if you want him back.." I drawled. "You gotta catch me!!" I scooped up Gaara and ran as fast as my legs would carry me and Gaara. "Catch me if you can! I'm the Gaara stealing bitch!" I turned around to blow a raspberry, but at the rapid rate he was catching up I quickly dashed to keep up. The chase was on.

The next time you run on the beach with something akin to 40kg in your clutches, of if you've experienced it, it's really hard to run. Your feet slip on the sand and you kind of start to sink with each careful stride. We ran a few meters before my foot was ankle deep in sand each time I leapt over beach towels and little kids.

Neji was playing along and ran at an agonizingly slow pace for him, he was an athletics man. Running at this speed must be cramping his muscles. I know its killing mine.

We fell in time to a pitiful slow motion walk and Neji's fingers just grazed my shirt. I felt that the conventional 'no' should be present. So I belted out a low long no. Gaara slid from my arms and 'ran' too. His random turning around and running back to the group surprised us. Neji and I shared a look, we darted after him.

It ended with a lot of sand shovelling and lumpy shorts.

* * *

It was getting late; there weren't a lot of people that stayed. All the families from this morning had gone back to the freeway at 4. It was a shame. To go all this way to just turn back. Maybe they come often or they lived around the area. I would love to live here. 

The night was surprisingly warm and the sand was still hot. The sun was beginning to set. It cast a dusty red across the sky. It looked the Aboriginal flag the way the sun cast black shadows along the sea and throwing red desert dirt in the air. This is probably how they saw the land, shadow and light, red and black and yellow, the sun, the sky, the earth. Their way of living is so simple.

I started feeling sorry for them once the Europeans settled. James Cook and his fellow men, attacking the Aboriginals, I shivered when I remembered my year 9 Humanities class.

The girls except for Ino where all inside, doing some gossiping or whatever. Most of the guys where still here. Chouji had gone back inside once the mention of food, and he jumped to the occasion to cook. He was awesome as home economics.

Gaara was still childishly making a sandcastle, Neji sat by and watched. He had won, punished me for it to. The water in my nose irritated my throat. I'm going to get him back tomorrow.

I had told the others that I was going to teach them surfing. When Ino piped up and screamed that she could surf, I was glad that I wasn't the only one. It came to be that she was an ex-Queenslander, she became a New South Welshman, and a New Zealander before settling to become a Victorian. She was supposedly a surfing legend back at her hometown Townsville. I had promptly told her that no one could be better than a Cairns surfie. There would be a surf off if the weather permitted, and after we taught everyone else first. Pride better not let me down.

Shikamaru was sleeping on a towel. He hadn't left the towel since 2. By the way the sun was blazing, I wouldn't be surprised if he woke up painful and burnt. Ino was sitting on her towel, rubbing all the sand off her legs while talking to Sasuke.

Sasuke was great today. I felt responsible for being proud of him. He had been jumping in the water, chasing people around, building sand castles, killing sandcastles. I was surprised when he was knee deep in water with Sakura, both of them bending over the water looking like asian rice farmers, when he abruptly came running back to shore, Sakura right behind him. He was so happy, he had found a little crab. The way his face screwed up into a smile and the way his eyes squinted in the sun, his forehead littered with sand and his hair not even in its usual form, he looked absolutely normal.

He didn't look like the perfect freak he usually was. With everything absolutely perfect to the T. And when he came running up to the beach I felt the happiness he felt. Just the raw emotion of happiness, and it was so strong, I felt so proud of Sasuke. I couldn't get enough of his happiness. We had all gone into the water to find crabs to have them race eventually. Hinata had found one, she had dropped it when it nipped at her. Sasuke had found another one and his face erupted into the same genuine smile that opened his eyes. We threw water on him though, for being a show off.

And so here we are, after a day of fun, I knew that tomorrow would be the same. We would have the beach and the house and the surf just about to ourselves. Give or take a few people that might turn up, but it would be just mainly us.

The girls came back whistling, all wearing sarongs of different colours around their waists. In their hand they held Sunday glasses of stuff and plates of food. Chouji carried the last one with less diner class. I laughed at that.

The rest of us on the beach cheered and yelled and whatever vocals we could belt out. This resulted in the girls wavering their hips drastically; they looked like they were going to fall over. A specific comment nearly made Hinata trip.

They had set our meals down and left us in peace, they linked arms to skip gaily back, Chouji didn't want any part, but he got cooed into it. Secretly I knew he wanted it. I laughed again and snapped a picture. That was the last picture, the digital screen said the CF Card was full. I'd better take it to the camera place to get these developed.

* * *

The sun was gone. The air was still as hot as it had been a few hours ago. I wrapped my towel around myself. It stopped the breeze. I dug my toes deeper into the sand. The further they ventured, the colder the sand. I didn't want to go too far. Neji had taken Shikamaru inside. When he had woken to eat, he had noticed that he was beet red and his skin was flaking. Neji was the closes medical attentionist around. 

So it was just Sasuke, Gaara and me.

And it was quiet.

Just us, our simple breathing, and the ocean.

And it couldn't get anymore… wonderful.

It was just like camp in year 8. All three of us where in a class for the first two years. Because of my misbehaviour did I have to transfer classes. But those two years I would never forget. Especially the last camp that I would have with them.

In late July and early August. The whole class, a teacher and a week away from home. It was the perfect getaway at the time. No parents, no siblings, absolutely perfect. And I can remember everything like I had just lived it.

Because it was the first day that the three of us bonded. Bonded together as brothers. On our Rogaine hike, we were to set up camp at our assigned destination. And needless the say, the three of us had gotten lost. We were on okay terms then, we weren't complete friends but we had something. And that something could only grow as the forest got deeper and everything got darker.

That night camped under the stars; we lay by each other just staring at the sky. we had gotten through so much shit while we were in that forest that anything else that was thrown toward us wasn't such a big thing.

It was under that sky at spot 23 where I had my first homosexual experience. I didn't see it coming. Not at all. It had just happened. No warnings, no signals, no alarms. Just, out of the blue. And I don't know why they did it. But they did, and I'm somewhat glad.

I loved them just a little bit more after that. And it's here that I'm found lying next to the two people that I would turn gay for in an instant. Wouldn't matter, I would flip that coin and it would show fag every time. That's how much I loved them. And it feels completely weird. Not weird in a bad way, weird in, a weird way.

It was silent, just like then. The air was hot and dry whilst then was damp and cold. The memory ran shivers down my spine. It felt like I was reliving that moment again for the umpth time; just that this time, we have seemed to be older, a lot wiser, and the conditions had changed. But more or less, it's exactly the same. Gaara unconsciously links his arm in mine, like we would on the street. He scoots closer to me. I wrap my other arm around Sasuke's shoulders; I didn't want him to feel left out. He scoots closer. And it was now, that I feel the bond add another knot in its forever long string of brotherhood. I loved these people so much, I wouldn't know what I'd do if I lost one of them to the sky.

I entwined my fingers into the hands of the bodies on either side of me. I squeezed them just as they held onto my grip. I felt them squeeze back. I feel so loved. It's amazing. How something so simple can give you the best of feelings. No matter how much eyeliner, hair dye or foundation can hide the fact that you are happy. Nothing, except for masks. And they're something that I like to play with. Sometimes, you just find them on your face and it's too late to take them off.

But right now, there are no masks, no eyeliner and no foundation. The hair dyes still there, but its not like it mattered. Gaara looks innocent, and fragile unlike what he's supposedly to be like, loud and rambunctious, flirty and enticing. Sasuke is like that too, his face is calm, gentle, content. It's such a difference; I'd rather see this than the sad, mopey, tight calculating expression he would normally wear at school. It's so natural, so candid. This is how I want it to be.

And as the moon rises to meet the sky and the stars is where I find myself, a body pressed against mine. It doesn't feel awkward. It feels totally natural. The way that Gaara's expert hands would roam. And Sasuke would just watch with mild fascination when Gaara looks affectionately at me. And there's nothing more I could want in life that right now. When the two people that I would go to hell for so that their soul may rest peacefully in heaven, are right here with me to enjoy the breeze.

So I did what I had down that night. I met him in the moonlight.

And he was sweet.

He tasted just like the icy drink that the girls had brought out earlier.

Sweet, cold and beautiful.

So I warmed it up. Just for him.

He then removed himself from me like he had that night. He had gone for a waiting Sasuke, the pure innocent virgin look thrown onto his face lit by the moonlight gave him all the right appeal. And they battled it out, like they had, their hands fumbling awkwardly yet not at the same time. They're hands roamed over mine, nearly pretending that the didn't know where they were going. And in half the mind that I was watching them, I wouldn't have known that my hands would travel so far from target unless the person beneath makes a sound. When I did, the ignored it and went further.

I watched them, squinting my eyes from the bright light of the moon, I see silhouettes of noses and cheeks bones and tongues and eyelashes. I see the pang of pink and the rush of black. And see perfection in its purest form. Absolute perfection.

I let the sand seep through my fingers as their actions got rushed, and it seemed they were aiming to please. It was just like that night. That time in the open air of a secluded patch of area that we called out own for that one night. Just for that one night.

The seem to catch my wondering eyes in the moon and advance to me, daunting like murderers. I shivered into the silent night as their cool fingertips connect with my skin, slowly melting to leave them warm. And they attack. I'm just the kill.

* * *

I open my eyes that I don't remember closing. The moon seems to be brighter and everything isn't as dark as it was. The morning hits me; I groan. There's a cool breeze and I'm not cold, the two bodies beside me keep me warm. I ease an arm free to rub my eyes. 

In the blurry sunlight I see faint shadows. Shadows of people that I don't know. I cover the sun with my arm, it doesn't feel as warm. Something gets thrown down hastily at my legs and the shift of sand proves that the shadow moves away. I feel too heavy to move, like I was sinking into the sand. I heave my self up anyway. Gaara whines in his sleep and pulls back on my arm. I lay, propped on my elbow.

And there it is. With its beautiful glory.

A rose.

So I stared, half expecting it to come. The normal panic. Sweaty hands, voices, heavy breathing, rapid heart rate. But it never did. The most I got was a yawn. And I was mildly surprised. Had I become so used to this occurring? I get them all the time now. Every where and everything seems to remind me of these damn flowers. But not this time. I feel almost as happy as I when I received the second rose.

Then I thought came to me. I whipped my head to the side, looking for a person that had delivered it. The stem was still warm, either from me, the sun or them. There was no one on the beach except for the retreating figure of a person. A person dressed in complete black uniform. Except for their scarf, that was red.

I wanted to jump up and run to them and shake them and ask them a million things at once. But I didn't. I stayed where I was. And I couldn't understand why. Why I didn't go rushing to assault them and yell obscenities and make them pay for the trauma that I had to go through.

It was all mindless in the end to me. When I really though about it in the space of time that I had, there was no point. What would I get out of it? A face? A name? Maybe I wouldn't see them again if they were revealed.

I stared at the figure walking away. I'm so close to them. I could run for a bit and they would stand right before me. What's the fun in that? There wasn't. I let them go. I smiled at his back. There would be a good explanation for this. But now was not the time to ask questions. Now was the time to just be here and enjoy everything.

The card was tied onto the rose in a pretty pink bow. I flipped it like I have so many times before.

_If I could have just one wish,  
I would wish to wake up everyday  
to the sound of your breath on my neck,  
the warmth of your lips on my cheek,  
the touch of your fingers on my skin,  
and the feel of your heart beating with mine...  
Knowing that I could never find that feeling  
with anyone other than you._

_- Courtney Kuchta  
_

And I smiled like I did at the second rose. This one was more velvety if it could even be like that than the other ones. Something about it made it even more special. And I liked that. It was something different. Like how this was. Something different besides the normal. Something you could keep and remember because it is… different.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

That's my week of writing done. I'm trying to write myself out of writers block. Does it work? Might have totally trashed this chapter. Oh my.

CREST Project for my research science class has just begun, and I might not be able to update as regularly. Not that I have for this week. But it would be as often. Hopefully it will but don't get your hopes up.

I will be found all over Melbourne. If anyone's in the city, by the Yarra on a day I will supply, push me in the river and say hi. Doubt that anyone's going to the Yarra just to push some kid in it.

* * *


	20. The Story Of A Pearl

**A Lover's Dozen**

**The Story Of A Pearl.  
**

The warm morning died into a cold evening. I was glad that we had a townhouse instead of a beach house to rent. I fingered the rose in my hand gingerly, it looked so frail out in the salty air. I felt sorry for it. It wasn't with the others.

I raised it to my nose and sniffed it. It smelt as sweet as the others, the distinct fragrance was so much better than the cum trees(1) that lined the side of the house. I sniffed it some more, it was my air deodorizer; the smell of cum made my nose twitch.

The image of that man, I had narrowed it down to the way he walked, wouldn't leave my head. The way he would casually walk away from the scene, just like that. As if everything was just fine and dandy. The way his scarf would whip behind him as he walked. The deep shade of red it was, not vibrant but not dull. The curt wave he sent back, like he knew I was watching. He probably knew I was watching him.

But at least now I know who's sending me the flowers. Even if it wasn't _him _specifically, he had a motive to send them. And that motive must be Sasuke. Gaara would out right tell someone that he liked them, and even so, he and Neji had been with each other for a while. Sasuke's seen me with the flowers, so he must know nothing about it, he would fidget and look away if he knew. Or if he does, he's being a very good actor, he has a knack for secret talents.

I sighed. Why would someone go through all this trouble to do something for Sasuke? His fangirls wouldn't do this. They'd be the last persons on earth to do something like this. And I doubt that they could come up with something as intelligent of a plan as this.

My head buzzed loudly with possibilities of who could be associated with Sasuke. I growled, frustrated for thinking around in circles and getting absolutely no where. I sucked at analysis. I twirled the rose like a pen in my fingers, watching as the red petals cut through the air leaving a red tail.

I shifted in the bed. My toes played with each other, my fingers ran through my hair and the rose never stopped its rotation. The rain beat down on the windows, it was cold but humid at the same time, and the others thought that it wasn't desirable to go for that surf lesson.

This started out as just a simple gift. Something small and harmless, that later escalated into some stalking and everything was completely blown out of proportion when more and more roses were delivered. It was a problem that flawed the pearl, but with each layer that got peeled away, closer and closer did it come to perfection, except perfection came at the price of nothing but layers of an existing pearl.

Was this what it was? Just a pearl with a slight mar? And as the layers get peeled back, another rose reveals itself, and as the roses slowly diminish like the shrinking pearl, will it all be nothing in the end? Just a meaningless trip that ended with nothing?

I was diving too much into this. But this problem was presented to me, and it wouldn't have been there if I hadn't meant to solve it. So what is there to solve? How could I solve nothing, even if everything was here; I have but nothing but an image. An image of someone's retreating back.

I can't get the slight tingling feeling that runs through my nerves that it's someone I know. Oddly familiar, yet I find no trace of a name or a face. It irks me to no end. Irk, what a funny word.

I lay on the side, resting on my arm as the rose twirls prettily in the dying light. The storm clouds have taken over, if tomorrow isn't as beautiful as yesterday, we might as well go home.

Right now, as the rain slides down the windows I have nothing to do but to wait it all out. If who ever it is wants to roll this out, then fine, I'll be there to rock it out with them. I let the rose drop out of my fingers, a single thorn struck the flesh webbing. There where never thorns. I liked the seeping blood away to see it replaced.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.  
Writing myself out of writers block.  
So many 'filler' like chapters. I hate it. 

MANIFEST!!! I AM NOT GOING!!! ARGHHH!!!  
Gay.

(1) Cum trees, I don't know what they're really called. My friend pointed them out to me when we were fishing for hepatitus A. Don't ask.


	21. Ninth Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Ninth Rose. (Nineth?)  
**

I scratch the scab that has formed in between my fingers, it's itchy and the awkward positioning is annoying me. I want to gnaw at it like a feral dog. The air's cold again, the leaves and flowers are dying before they even had a chance to fully grow. Rain clouds hang heavily above, it threatened to rain a few minutes ago, spitting a bit before stopping. No doubt a massive rain pour will follow shortly or somewhere during the day.

The violin case feels heavy in my grasp, uncharacteristically, it felt almost to heavy to only contain a violin, not even a viola was this heavy. It unnerved me to no end, I had so wanted to open the violin case and rip out the object that weighed down the case. But fear is always the one obstacle that we as humans cannot jump over. I hated myself for being such a pansy.

My hands itched to drop the case, but the expensively carved piece of wood wouldn't survive and that would be on my best interest to not drop it due to that little fact. I sighed. I didn't want to think anymore. Lying on the road waiting for cars to roll by with my violin safely on the nature strip watching; it looks so good right now. But fear yet again draws the barrier to what I want.

School had finished a while ago, I had forgotten my violin so I went home to get it, band was at 4. Everything was fine. I felt heavy and none the bit more relaxed after the long weekend. If anything it had made breathing harder and staying awake part of habit. My eyes ached and focusing on one object strained the brain. But band calls and Mr. Meladay would crack shit if I didn't turn up.

Sasuke's been at school, I crossed him in the hall every once and again. It felt awkward knowing that someone was doing something for him. He knew something was up, he had given me the 'I am going to ask you after school' look, but I dashed home to get the instrument before he found me. I wouldn't tell him if he didn't know, it would make him more worried, and I've been freaking out. There's no need to alarm him yet. He's had to go through a lot; this seems insignificant compared to everything else.

As I neared the school rain had started to pour heavily, like it had been raining for ages. I ran the remaining metres to the music hall. I hear the shouts of Mr. Meladay instructing the students to line up in the correct manner and sitting the right way and the proper way to hold their instruments. I went round the back, I might not be noticed for coming in late. Sasuke was with the group that was on stage, he waved at me through the window, smiling slightly, I waved back.

* * *

I banged at the piano keys for the umpteenth time. Why is the piano so god damned hard to play?! Reading the bloody notes took forever, I've sat here for half an hour trying to get this right, playing 'To Zanarkand" isn't really a classical song. But teachers are supposed to be smart – "The Year 7's have to be entertained". I hate teachers. Hinata better be a damn nice teacher, not that she isn't overly nice already. She'd make a good teacher. 

I still don't get why I'm here! There are like year 8's that can sight read all this and make it look like they've played it a million times before! Argh!! I wonder if mother felt this way? Having to learn blind, it must have been worse, I'm struggling with a pair of eyes and she makes it look so effortless. I wish mother had taught me too. Sasuke can play the piano! He's a genius! He can do it!! Why me?!

I was on the brink of tears, to have a childish fit so that the teachers can let me off the hook and let me play the violin like I was raised to do. It wasn't that hard. Fish a year 8, give them the piece, and let them play it when the other brats come for open day. I am so depressed.

There's a knocking at my the door and I fling my self around the chair to greet the person happily, a distraction from piano might be the best thing that's happening in my life as of this moment. Sasuke stood with his face squished against the window. The trip had been good for him as I had planned. I walked up to the window and slapped the window, he fell back dramatically. I smiled, I like the old Sasuke better, and the old happy non bitchy mean Sasuke was even better.

"I am your knight in shiny armour!" he galloped in, his flute in the case raised high like some sort of fighting stick that knights used to have, in A Knight's Tale with Heath Ledger.

"You're not shiny" I pointed blandly. He made a face that had meant for me to play along. I tried again.

"Oh woe is me?" I tilted my head to the side, he waved a hand. The theatrics where gone.

"Sucks to be you"

"What?" I had zoned out.

"I said, that it sucks to be you, you're stuck in this box" I couldn't agree more.

Sasuke sat at the piano, he cracked his knuckles and poised his hands on the keyboard, he played softly, the pedal that dragged notes out longer pressed at even intervals. Why didn't they make him play? Stupid geniuses.

While he played, he told me how it was sort of better to be in the cage than be out there. Mr. Meladay had gone psycho and threaten everyone with a detention if they didn't draw the bows the right way and in unison. He also said that there was this fete/fair thing and that everyone was going, he apologized for it being late notice. I said it was okay, and that I'd be there. He finished up the last cords and the little bit at the end.

"Meet your place or mine?"

"I'll pick you up"

"They're all car pooling at Shikamaru's, 5"

"That's like now.."

"Guess we're not going with them then" he had a sly smile, but I didn't think to much about it.

"Then I'll hire a horse to take us" the wide eyed expression on Sasukes face made me laugh. He fell off a horse when he was little.

"Then I'll just have to let my dogs loose when you come" he laughed at my expression. Sasuke had killer Dobermans. I'm going to die.

* * *

The air was filled with kiddy spirit. A lot of people where here, considering it was in the city. I guess parents would do anything for their kids, as long as their happy. Sasuke was on the phone, asking where they were and that we're at the entrance. 

I hadn't been serious about the horse thing, but Sasuke was serious about the Doberman thing. My coat didn't make it. It's in the trash with the cans of dog food the dogs consume. It was cold. Stupid mutts.

It happened that they where on the opposite side of the Yarra. All the food was on this side, and they'd say that they'd meet us here. I was hungry, Sasuke was too by the sound of his stomach, we got something to eat while they made their way over.

* * *

We had played masses of games, gimmicks or not, we still played. Each one of us had a giant stuffed toy of some sort. I had won a horse that I gave to Sasuke with a "Every knight needs a steed" he attacked me over the head with the giant thing. Plastic eyes hurt. I hoisted the awesome Oscar the Grouch and whacked him back. The police men came round and told us to stop, our toys where nearly confiscated. Like they had the guts.

* * *

Getting on rides with these massive toys wasn't so safe, at least 2 or 3 of us had to stand and wait with a litter of toys. Kids would come gawk and ask for one and we'd have to bat them away. The rides closer to kids the worse it was. We had lost Eeyore to one of them. The mother kindly returned it to us though. People had taken photo's, Japanese tourists I guess. It was like a zoo for us, there were about 10 people in our group of carnical goers, and 10 toys with 3 guards at the most. Ring a ring a rosey didn't work when toys didn't want to hold hands.

* * *

We had been at the park for 3 hours. 3 hours it took to go on every ride and every game that was different to the others. 3 hours did it take for someone to plot. 3 hours before we got on that wretched Ferris wheel. 

It was harmless enough, the girls had wanted to see Melbourne high on a rotating wheel, and the rest of us went on so that no more kids would take the last Eeyore (we assumed that was the case since it was always the one that got stolen).

They paired off, and got on, Sasuke and I were in the last one. We had waited for the people in the carriage to get out, they were refusing to, they kept giggling and jostling about. I wanted to tell the under aged operator that we'd go on the next round, but he said that the fire works where on next and these guys had done it twice already.

Heavy persuading and threats they emerged, pink and high. I climbed in first and saw a rose. One of the things that I wouldn't have imagined being there. But then there wasn't a card, I supposed it must have belonged to the other people. I stuck my head out of the door and yelled at the couple. The male turned around and waved, they wore the same black coat and pants, he had the red scarf and she had a white scarf. They waved and disappeared within the crowd.

The wheel had already began before I could jump out and chase them. Sasuke looked at me funny and next to him was a card, placed prettily in the fairy lights with my name printed on the front as always. I was about to pick up the card when the p.a system interrupted the radio and a recorded female voice sounded over the whole park.

Something about fireworks and when they first erupt kissing the one you love and something good happens. It was a load of crap that went around in emails. Sasuke and I laughed. It was stupid, but he suggested that we kissed so that our friendship would last longer, instead of the 'you and your kissed person will live happily ever after' shit. It didn't sound too bad of an idea.

I took the card from the bench, Sasuke fingered the rose – it looked more beautiful when he was holding it in the blue fairy lights.

_Let me light up the sky,  
Light it up for you.  
Let me make this mine,  
I'll ignite for you._

_Let me light up the sky,  
Just for you tonight.  
Let me help you fly,  
Cause you won't have time.  
_

_To cover your eyes,  
Or get your disguise,  
They won't ask you why,  
They just watch you die._

_And it's still so hard to be who you are,  
So you play this part,  
And the show goes on._

_Light Up The Sky, Yellowcard_

I finish reading the card. Seconds later that the song starts to play. When the second chorus came around the fire works started. When we were seconds from being the top carriage, we smiled sweetly before we kissed into the fireworks.

It was simple.

It was nice.

The fairy lights fade on and off, but that's just part of the effects of fairy lights. People scream, but that's because of the wonderful display of fireworks. The sirens alarm and that's because someone didn't screw something in properly. The wheel stops spinning because the it's going to fall apart.

Sasuke rips himself away from me and starts banging on the cheap plastic windows. I turn to look, and Eeyore is tumbling out of Hinata's hands to fall to the depths of people scattered around the wheel to see Sakura hang onto dear life on a single spoke. Oh Shit.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

I wrote myself into a corner on the first attempt at this chapter, I had left it for a week to think, then another. Now here it is.

My brother says I don't make sense. Do you think so?

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR EVER REVIEWING. 21ST CHAPTER! WHEEEEE!!! Love for everyone!!! -love love love-


	22. Steady On

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Chapter 22.  
UnTitled.  
**

Eeyore was gone. Some kid had taken it. Sakura was dangling for her life. Ino and Hinata where screaming or crying or something. Sasuke was constantly banging on the windows. Shikamaru looked worried from where I was. The crowd was getting thicker and thicker. I couldn't see a thing anymore. Everything felt blurry and my heart started to panic.

The lights kept flickering on and off; the music skipped and melted into something akin to a cow trying to talk. Whether it was from the height of the Ferris wheel or the commotion of this whole ordeal, my head span rapidly in circles. I swallowed thickly, it was hard to breath. I stepped away from Sasuke's continuous banging to sit in the other seat. I was shaking and I brought my fingers together to stop myself. God, where were my mints?

I hardly noticed the pathetic whimper that dripped out of my mouth and into the air. Sakura used to be a gymnast. Why doesn't she use her gym power here? I hear her scream she's slipping. Sasuke's frantic. He's insane, he keeps rattling the window like its going to help. He's sobbing and I wouldn't blame him. I yank him away from the window.

"Stop it." he slaps my face and glares at me before he leans out the doorway thing. He yells. And yells and yells. Isn't there a way out? I look out the foggy windows and contemplate anything, any absurd idea that I can conjure in my mind. But the flailing of hands and tension in the air freezes my mind closed. Think, think, think god damn it!

Ino and Hinata are reaching for Sakura, their gonna fall if they keep leaning out like that. I don't know how, but I rushed to stand behind Sasuke. I lean myself out the doorway and yell too. I yell at Ino and Hinata to stop leaning out the window and stand back safely in the carriage as best as they could. I yell at Sakura to relax, relax so her palms won't sweat, relax so her palms won't sweat so she won't slip. She didn't only yelled back that how the hell could she relax in a situation like this. I didn't know how to respond.

I hated Ferris wheels for a reason. I saw those shows were people died from them. The faulty 'engineers' that put these things together. You'd think it would never happen to you, but then when it does what do you do? You're like the other people cut out of the picture thinking of something to do. It was useless being where we were.

Sasuke teeters too far over the edge and I yank at him, his foot slips under the door and his shoe slips of his foot. I strangle him to me to keep him safe. One person hanging for dear life is enough. He's cold, and I notice that I'm not breathing, I take a staggering breath, it doesn't help. Sasuke grabs at anything, my hair my jacket, the fairy lights. The lights come off in a fizzle, I went as fast as I could to the other side. He's heaving breathes in and I try to do the same. His fingers are unsure, shaking, his legs are cut off, wondering. I hug him tighter to me.

* * *

It wasn't til the next day that I saw Sakura again. She was at the school gate with her mother and brother. She was arguing with him. I was walking up to them. Her hands are bandaged and her bag slips from her shoulders. He picks it up and that brings on a new bout of arguing. Their mother tries to interfere but she just gets shoved into the background. 

I'm getting closer to them. Sakura see's me for a brief second and waves before turning her attention back into her brother as he yells at her about missing a day of school wouldn't hurt. He's really angry, angrier than I've ever seen him, even worse than before. He was about ready to jump.

I was about to greet Mrs. H when a fist flew at me. No body saw the flash in his eye. No one saw the tell. No one saw the victory smirk before both Haruno's fought to keep the monster of a man back. I laid pathetic on the ground. I touched the corner of my mouth. I was never strong.

He angrily points his finger at me. Averting the blame. Saying its always my fault. Always has been and always will be. Yelling that he was right and that the source of misfortune was me. No one else, just me. I stood and dusted myself off. I had had enough. I looked him in the eye and I hoped I hadn't given my own tell away and aimed to punch him. Two guys landed on my back preventing me to do anything else.

"Whoa whoa, steady on" with the casual tone, it was obviously Shikamaru. I wish Kiba was here, he'd work with me to pummel the jerk. I pulled myself away from them and stalked into school.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

I lost the last bit to Microsoft word. I probably didn't save properly or something. But the ending was different to this. I wish I saved!!  
I don't like Sakura very much, but I don't approve of killing characters for the sake of it. No. They have to have a legitimate reason. Nod.

Thank you for reading. And thankyou to everyone who reviewed. –love-.

Anyone is welcome to come up with a title. You can have a gift fic for it. "lol" -oh my.


	23. Catch Me If You Can

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Catch Me If You Can.**

So this is how it's like to give up. To realize that what you're trying to do is worthless. That it doesn't matter how hard you try _this _time, it's not going to work. No matter how hard you wish, or pray or fight, that it's just not going to happen. That what you really wanted to do, believed in so much, just doesn't pull through. That's where I found myself.

I found myself lying on the floorboards of the music room. The one that my mother had sat in most of her life, playing the piano away to her hearts content. The last half hour was filled with rage and distortion. I felt the need to throw things about, to mess the perfectly sacred haven that mother created seemingly so long ago. And I continue to lie on the hard floor; the last pieces of paper float gently back to the ground. I so desperately wanted to mess up the room again, but I didn't have enough angst left.

I lay on the side, staring at the piano. I had to get the song right, but I really couldn't be bothered. The way my fingers stuck out wrong, the way my posture hurt my back, the way that I pressed the wrong keys because I didn't know how to position my fingers and the way I spent too long reading the first line of music. It was all too frustrating and I always found myself asking why they didn't find a different person to play.

I pick myself out of the self pity and into the crisp kitchen. The afternoon like fades when a cloud covers the sun, temporarily leaving the room gloomy. The vase of roses on the table seems neglected. I've changed the water once or twice that I remember. They looked frail, death and neglect eating it away brown at the edges. I took them out of the vase and threw them into the bin, I'd replace them, after I found something to eat.

The fridge was empty so I had no choice but to search for something else, there wasn't much left, I haven't been home or shopping a lot for the past weeks.

* * *

Plastic bags dug into my fingers from the weight of all the items I had bought. I loaded them into the box that sat at the back of the bike. A sudden thought strikes my mind and I hurry to the nearest flower shop. I didn't know why I wanted to replace the flowers that I had used to hate, or even the fact that I kept them in the first place. 

It made me feel odd when I had thrown them out before I came out. The only flower shop I ever went to was Ino's. Not that she was my friend, not that I knew her and was her friend, because it was more pleasant to walk into a shop that made you feel welcome instead of looking dreary.

Ino's shop – or her mother's – was one of a kind. They had special flowers for special occasions and they always know what to say. There was no particular need to come here personally, but after what happened, and not seeing Sakura for a few days, I felt that I owed it to somebody.

The shop is always peaceful when you step in, it's never loud, it's never silent, and it's never polluted with the bad music on the radio. Something sweet that not only the costumers benefit from, but I'm sure the plants appreciate it too. It always smells lovely, whether from the flowers or the artificial air fresheners, it doesn't matter. Ino's there sometimes, today she is, wrapping something for a man, he changes his mind and asks her questions that I had no business in. I found roses and there was a variety to choose from. They all looked the same but with slight differences. I personally fingered each varieties petal, feeling for the same softeness until I found it. The same blood red to bright red hue stood together in a black pot of water. I took out 9 of them and went to the counter.

Ino had just finished up with the man he smiled differently and sauntered out of the shop. Ino was writing something down on a piece of paper and sticking it on the front of a white box. She slipped it under the counter. She took the flowers from me and wrapped it up. We made idle chit chat, all the while she avoided the topic of Sakura. I left the money on the counter for her to pick up, she insisted that I shouldn't bother, but I had retaliated that I should. She nodded and said that she'll get me something nice. I smiled politely not understanding.

I take the wrapped flowers back to the bike and hop on, careful not to tip over or drop the flowers. I pedalled home.

* * *

My fingers felt cold, and I could feel the rushing of blood through them returning back into the stream of my body. It almost felt painful to bring them to my neck to warm them up. It always got cold in the music room. I never understood why. 

The roses sat delicately once more in my grandmother's vase. It stood prettily again, fresh. This time I will remember to change the water. Ino had given me flower crystal stuff, I don't remember what it's for, but I hope it doesn't kill them.

I leant my head on the keyboard. A stream of unorganized mess met my ears and I shivered from the cold. I flipped my hands around to press onto another patch of warm skin of my neck. I shivered at the sudden warmth. I had been working for an hour after I came home from shopping. The sun had disappeared behind again, leaving the room in bitter darkness. The pages of pieces that I have never heard of still littered the floor. I must have looked like a doll, hunched over the piano like that. It would make a good photo. Shame no ones around to appreciate it.

I had finally gotten the first page right, the second wasn't as categorized and orderly, but it made sense when you listened to it all together. It wasn't too bad. The skin on my neck was cold, and my fingers still weren't warm. I slid off the seat almost mechanically and picked up the pages of music off the floor. It felt wrong to leave it in a mess.

It was all in a categorized pile when the doorbell rang. I really didn't feel like answering so I left them to ring the bloody doorbell as long as they wanted. I slipped the papers into a folder that sat on top of some more folders. I shut light leaving the room for the last time that day.

The incessant ringing hadn't left and I groaned. I really don't feel like dealing with anyone. I opened the front door none the less, they didn't want to leave me alone.

Ino stood there. A little annoyed and it was evident on her smile. I muttered an apology and said that I thought that she was some door to door salesmen. She nodded in understanding and brought the white box in her hands closer to me. The recognition flashed in my mind and I didn't want to think that they had struck again.

"Who gave this to you?" I made sure it was genuinely a question.

"Oh, he… he was here a minute ago." She looked behind her. "There he is." She pointed in the direction of a man (I had assumed due to Ino's description) wearing a black cloak with a red and white stripped scarf. He had black gloves on, and I thought that it was a little to extreme considering the weather – it wasn't overly cold but it wasn't cold enough to bring on the extreme winter gear.

_And one day I'll knock,__  
__But just not yet._

Oh my god.

He still stood still, his hands now jammed into the coats pockets. I lifted the lid of the box. I peeked out of the corner of my eye, the man was still there, this time looking at us intently. With the strain of the awkward angle I couldn't make out the guy. I fully took the lid of and tucked it under the box, Ino still held onto it. The white rose lay on top of a red cushion of foam, it was slightly pink at the edges. A typed card with my name in Time New Roman, as usual, lay on top.

I burst past Ino, not even reading the card, it'd be there when I came back. I had taken this moment to run; he had bent down to tie his shoelaces. And by the way he himself shot up to run away from me, which he didn't really need to, and it was just a distraction from my growing suspicion.

I chased after him as he shifted into a sprint. I had no choice but to up the ante and sprint as fast as he can. I'm not really an athlete, but it would do if I wanted some answers. Ino calls but she stays put by the sound of her voice, I hope she doesn't move, I don't have keys.

He rounds a corner and I do to. I only notice that I don't have shoes on when each stride brings my foot slamming down onto the concrete pavement that lines the streets. My heel is in agony and I've strained my ankle. I'm at a disadvantage.

I would have kept running if my ankle didn't keep screaming my nerves to stop, and if that black car didn't turn out of no where to pick him up and drive off. I collapsed on the grass. My ankle's probably swollen if I bothered to look. Ino must be either freaked or worried or something.

I dragged myself off the floor to limp pathetically back. Ino tended to my ankle and didn't press anything about the matter of my sudden attitude flip. She'd ask the others first, before she contacted me directly, it's what she does. It wasn't that I insisted that I hopped my way to the door to show her out that I got to read the note.

_The red rose whispers of passion,  
And the white rose breathes of love;  
O, the red rose is a falcon,  
And the white rose is a dove.  
But I send you a cream-white rosebud  
With a flush on its petal tips;  
For the love that is purest and sweetest  
Has a kiss of desire on the lips._

_- J B O'Reilly (1844-1890) –_

And I thought that maybe I could handle it. Handle not being freaked out and calm about all of this. About the note giving. And after today, having been marginally close to finding out a little bit about who's behind all of this made me a little confident, yet afraid. I want this to end, as much as I loved it from the start, this has got to stop.

I had put a string of them on the wall, blue tacked on in a perfect line. I added this one onto that line. Each front had my name typed in Times New Roman – size 12, centered – and on the inside, the message/poems would always be in Tahoma – size 10, centered. I felt like I was missing something, missing something really important. They were all white blank beside the black writing. I knew that there was something else to it, and that it would be so evident once I find and would slap myself asking why hadn't I thought about the possibility before. I'm sure of it.

Like a worded question that's answer seemed so obvious and that anyone would know it, until you got it wrong and you mulled over it a little more and you don't know what you're searching for anymore. You would analyze every word and what it would mean in the question until you came up with a dozen different meanings for the problem, and unnecessary questions to ask the question – so when you think about it, nothing made sense. When people try to help, you would knock them away, saying that you could get it because it was really simple. But you just can't. Then when someone tells you the answer, is it only at that precise moment that everything clicks and you understand, you get it. It was so simple that you over looked that simple detail that was staring at you in the face.

I feel that I'm stuck in that exact problem. Except there is no answer, no one to directly go to for clues. No one that would really understand unless it's happening to them. Nothing to analyze, nothing to look at.

Because there is no initial question to refer to.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. 

Unedited and probably full of grammar and spelling mistakes. Spot them and I'll fix it.

I like this chapter.  
I don't know about you, but It feels more of an original, in the last chapters everything didn't fit with the initial feel that I had while wrote this story.  
Toward the end, I really felt like how I was writing 2 months ago.

Thank you.

* * *

**Teaser for the New Story. One person has read it, I felt that it would be even for everyone else to as well.**

Soynerve's Requested Story – Untitled.

It would have been like every other day. Waking up late; checking emails; styling hair for half an hour or until it looked alright – or leave it completely to look like sex hair; go grab a coffee; lounge about. And that would be it for Sasuke, if he had chosen his brother's path of life. But he didn't believe that having that sort of life style would be fulfilling.

He was living, actually living – like normal people. Unlike Itachi's way of living, his way of living consisted of teaching. It was a pretty average job, with average pay, with average outcomes. But that's they way he wanted it. To have everything average, to be independent and average because he grew up abnormal; and now, he had the average lifestyle that he had always wanted.

So he was doing what he would normally do everyday. He would get up at 7, he would style his hair, he'd look frantically around for his glasses – because that's what average people would do, leave the house by 8 to get to the coffee shop and be at school at 8.30. That's what he _would _do. Except he got offered a better job, with better pay, the receptionist said that he didn't even need to have an interview. She had said he was filling in for a teacher that left for maternity leave. And he did what the average person would do, he took it up. But there's a catch like there normally is, it's a temp job, temporary until the teacher wanted to come back. Temp enough to make a little more money. But it was alright, he was stilling being average.

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For anyone that read this excerpt – Love It. Hate It. Review It.  
I would love to see you response to this if it's not to much trouble. 

O.Dive.


	24. Freak

**A Lover's Dozen  
**

**Freak.**

I woke up to the startling sound of rapping at the window. I didn't want to open my eyes. As selfish as it sounded, I didn't want to move. My ankle feels disorientated and my knees are in pain. I open my eyes slowly. The sun assaults them. The knocking gets louder and I groan. Go away.

I sound like a little kid. The tapping had turned into full out banging and it was in a matter of seconds that a powerful palm flew through the window and a body shattered themselves onto the carpet.

"Morning" I said, sitting up.

"Fuck" I chuckle for the little while I had until I looked at his hand. I dived for the ground and turned his palm up. I began shaking as he drew in deep breaths.

"Shit, shit.." I steal at a shirt but it was for school. I yanked the sheets off the bed and wrap it around his hand squeezing it.

"Why can't you be normal?" I held his hand about his head, squeezing it with both of my hands.

"I am" I tried to raise my eyebrow. He gave me a stupid smile for it. I sighed and kneeled back onto my legs. Glass pricked into my shins and it was painful when I moved. I checked the rest of him to see if there was anything else that was bleeding. To my sweet relief he was safe. But Sasuke was still an idiot.

I pulled on his arm, we stood, barefoot and bleeding in the glass. I spread my legs apart, over the shattered glass, and lunged for my bed. He did the same, with his long legs and uncanny flexibility he was a lot closer than I was. We threw ourselves onto the bed. He crossed his legs after we struggled to sit up without letting our hands fall.

I pulled the sheet off his hand and watched as the blood slowly began to seep back. The cut was tiny. I looked at the floor and at the sheets, they were stained with blood – it had looked bigger when all that blood flowed out. I looked confused at it.

"Freak."

"I am"

LINE BREAK

I came back into the room with two pink bandaids. Sasuke had requested pink; that fag. I peeled them out of the sterilized paper and taped it onto his outstretched hand. I crossed the other on over it. He flexed his hand feeling the restraints against his skin and the adhesive.

I asked him why he was here. He said that Ino told him what happened yesterday over MSN. I nodded. I hopped off the bed to start cleaning the shattered glass and find something to get the blood out of the carpet.

I picked each piece up gingerly, noting every time how thick it was. I through it all in the bin. I rubbed my front, it was hot last night so I hadn't bothered to wear a shirt, I only remembered when I went outside as a small breeze swam by.

I stood in front of the mess of red and looked at Sasuke.

"Shaving cream"

"What?"

"Shaving scream, spray it on." I waved a hand for him to continue. "Get a toothbrush and scrub" I go into the bathroom and come out with the can. I do as he said, spraying it all over the patchy area. I look at him.

"Get an old toothbrush and a white cloth" I roll my eyes and go find the items. I came back and scrubbed at it.

"No not like that, here" he took the toothbrush from me and scrubbed from the outside in.

"Where did you learn this?" I sat back on the bed as he scrubbed.

"My mum. Itachi had a thing for blood noses during summer" I watched him silently as he worked. I rubbed my sides, I was starting to get cold. I sniffed, there weren't any tissues, I told Sasuke that I'd be in the bathroom. I took that opportunity to brush my teeth and other stuff. It didn't occur to me that my joints where screaming in pain until my feet touched the cold tiles. I rubbed some balm on it.

When I came back he was waiting to rinse the cloth the stain was almost out. Pretty good. He repeated the action a few more times and the carpet was clear, like it was never bled on.

I asked him why he was hear and he said that he didn't want to go to school and everyone else was already there. So we stayed at home instead of going to school. He played with the cards, flicking them with his finger as I got changed.

"What's all this?" I stretched the tee as low as I could but it wouldn't stretch over my jeans. I rubbed at the strip of skin that showed, poking at the flab. I took a mint from the tin before I answered him.

"I don't know" I offered him one and he wrinkled his nose in distaste. I laughed and pointed out how cute that made him look. He gave me the finger for my efforts. He took a card off the string and started to read it to himself, his lips moving to form each word. His breath would rush past and random words would be uttered.

I'm glad that it's Sasuke.

LINE BREAK

We mucked around at home for a bit. He loved, or so he says, the music room. He tampered with the piano and helped me a bit on the song I had to play. I couldn't make my fingers bend and curve like his. His fingers where dainty and delicate while mine where careless and clumsy. I feel so insignificant compared to him.

The way he does things doesn't seem humanly, and more godly. I start to see why he has so many people looking at him from afar. They are far enough to behold his beauty, but they don't dare stand close enough in case their simple movement would break the simplicity that is Sasuke. I envy him.

He puts the card back onto the string, careful to place it in the exact same place. He was weird like that too, always had to have things perfect. His parents were like that too, everything was always spotless and clean and so neatly arranged. Like a doll house on display.

He looked more like a doll too now that I look at him some more. I never really thought of him as one, until now. The way his fingers would fuss over the cards, putting them at equal lengths apart. How his face would keep that same indifferent calm expression despite the inner annoyance at the wonky string. It's absurd when you see people in different perspectives.

It would never have occurred to me that this was Sasuke. The Sasuke, that had been my friend for so many years. That Sasuke had stayed my friend; instead of drifting away to join other people more exciting, more interesting, people more like him.

I shake my head and remember that there still is a gaping whole in my wall and that if I don't get someone to fix it quick, birds will fly in. I get up off the bed and grab the phone that was on the floor. I head to the kitchen to find the Yellow Pages Directory. I dialled a number after number getting quotes; I screwed them and found a small business in the local newspaper.

When I came back Sasuke was sitting on the bed, the string and cards perfectly aligned and spaced apart. He rubbed his arms. I ask him to find me some masking tape and he goes off to find some. We met back later again with a bin liner and Christmas tape. I ask him about it and he said he found the blank roll of masking tape. We tape the liner to the edge of what used to be a window. He sat on the floor smiling.

"Sorry about the window"

"It's okay."

"I'm a freak"

"You are"

LINE BREAK

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

For those of you that didn't see the note left on the profile page, I don't blame you.  
Computer screw ups and life problems.

At least its up now.

Thank you for reading.

**20,000+hits. Thankyou to all. Hearts.**


	25. Eleventh Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Eleventh Rose.**

I watched the pendulum swing back and forth. Every beat, every ting, every sway was a motion to understand. Speed, timing, grace, it was everything. I closed my eyes, listening to the steady tick tock of the metronome. I had hated the unevenness of it, throwing me off track.

I opened my eyes slowly; the faint blurred gold hand waving in front of eyes, making me focus. It kept ticking strong, strong and loud, echoing through the entire room, reverberating off the walls and back into my ears.

And like everything else in this world, it would stop. Ceasing motion, ceasing to create sound, to live. I was so accustomed to the sound that I could still imagine it ticking and tocking in my head, as if to say that there was a pendulum, swinging back and forth repeatedly. I stopped mid strike, suspended in its place neither making a move or sounding. Just suspended, missing in action.

I winded it up again, gave it a little flick to encourage it. It started uneven, fumbling to find the right pace, but after a while it went strong and steady, dictating where I start and stop.

* * *

"Hold still Naruto, please" I couldn't help it. Iruka's hands where tightening around my waist, and the little pins pricked at my skin. 

"I'll take down the pant hem and you're free to go okay?" I stood still, a pin stuck out poking a bitch above my left ass cheek. Iruka fumbled around with the material, he sighed and fumbled some more saying that the hem was too long. I stood still for him to finish.

The window repair people had come and fixed the window. It looked more new than the others. I didn't like it. Iruka patted me on the side of my leg telling me to hop off the little stool. The motion caused pin pricks all over my body.

"Go change, I need to tailor these before tonight." I gave him the jacket and shirt. I went to my room before giving him my pants. I thanked him for tailoring the clothes and at such short notice; he said it was nothing and that this is what neighbours are for. He took the bundle of clothes back to his house to fix.

I slid my hand into my pants, resting my hand on my hip. I don't like pockets too much, skin felt nicer. I scratched my neck, my fingers itched to be used. To play with the keys that they were so used. I let them, taking myself to the music room to bask in my mother's light, playing the music she loved. The music that I love.

* * *

I played with my fingers. I feel so nervous. As many times as I've played the song and know it, every bit of it, I couldn't help but feel the tingling sensation of my heart beating faster nerves shaking. I pulled the cuffs down, fidgeting. I stopped and placed them on my lap where I drummed my fingers. 

"Calm down," he looked at me his hand on mine to cease their movement. "You're going to do fine". Somewhere in my mind I knew he was right. But I couldn't let myself go to belief him, it felt wrong this time.

The school was dark at this time of night, I could hardly recognize it. Signs and students pointed the direction the auditorium where the crimson curtain was drawn closed from commotion. Sasuke pulled me away from the parents getting seated and dragged me backstage to the music rooms.

Upon entering the music room we were given a program. It looked like I was near the start, being a solo performance, it was easier to have us all go first, have an intermission where the stands and chairs had to be set up. Last, beautiful.

I watched Sasuke tune a violin. I asked him why, and he said that that someone couldn't make it tonight, so he had to play the song. I felt angry, why hadn't they swapped me to play the violin and let Sasuke play the piano. I glared at his fingers as they pressed on the strings when he drew a long steady note.

I heard people clapping beyond us, and I knew that it had started.

* * *

I could hear the last words of a song before the entire auditorium immersed exploded into applause. I took off my jacket, it was too hot, and set it down on a chair again before going back to the curtains. The drew close and I knew it was my cue to sit myself on the grand piano. 

"Good luck" Sakura said as she walked past me, hugging me before quickly ducking into the back. I could only watch her leave before a teacher angrily ushered me to the piano. The teacher in charge had said to make things interesting. Act a bit before playing, I didn't know why, but she looked angry so I'm not going to dare defy her.

I hung; limp like a doll, arms draped down next to me legs and head in my lap. She had said something like this, I don't remember now that I'm on stage. The curtains drifted open and everything seemed to go slowly and quickly at the same time. I didn't as the teacher had said, raising my body almost robotically and making it fluid again or something? The spot light glaring down at me made it hard to remember.

I started to play, it felt slow now, the music blurred into one note and my fingers didn't seem to be moving anymore. In my head and conscience I knew I was still playing, somewhere, and my mind read that I was near the second page, half way through the second page I did something wrong. I stuffed up. I had hit a flat or something and I stopped. I froze. My body began to tingle and I felt every pair of eyes on me as I sat, my hands in mid air. How I felt like the metronome, stopping halfway toward a tick. Except there is no one to wind me up.

I heard whispers, and it's here that my hearing gets better, like I've cupped my hand, or something larger to personify the sounds that where echoing now around the auditorium. And then I hear the teachers asking others why I stopped, why I didn't just continue. And this is the part the sounds the clearest, even louder than my beating heart, the sound of shoes.

The sharp strike of the bow across the string made me realize who had come save me. I fell back into the doll position. He walked around me, poking me with the bow, the audience had gone silent, and the teachers where muttering about how this wasn't in the program.

He played a note, sharp and fast. I jerked my left hand. He played another not sharp and fast. I jerked my head. He played a smooth long note, and I raised my hand, he held the note with another and my back stretched out. He stopped playing and I fell back down. He clomped his shoes, making them echo in the dead silent hall, I slowly raised a hand and pressed a note, dropping my hand as he turned around.

He began to play; the tune was of the same as what I was playing before. I raised my body fluidly like the way he was drawing the bow back and forth. I positioned my hands, he repeated the phrase he played and I joined him in motion.

His melody changed and I focused on my playing this time instead of worrying. We would play, our harmonies intertwining like to dancers each of different styles, performing their own dances, yet mixing it up so that they were attractive to the watcher. And when they would finished dancing with one another, tired of learning from the other, they would fall, into a neat mess of dance. Much like how I fell back into the heaped of mess of a doll as the master went back into the darkness, having gotten tired of playing with me, and leaving me in the spotlight till next time.

The curtains drew close, leaving the doll to return to its master.

Sakura was the first thing I saw when I got back into the music room before she launched herself at me, hugging me tight.

"You where awesome" she whispered.

"Thanks" I whispered back. "Where's Sasuke?"

"Doing his solo, did you two plan that?" I let her go so she could stand on flat feet. I shook my head. She smiled and we started to talk, it had gotten noisier as the bands started to come in and tune their instruments. Sasuke was soon back and Sakura hugged him too. She excused her self saying that she needed to help set up chairs and stands. We let her go. I smiled at Sasuke. He smiled back and I moved to hug him. I hugged him tight, whispering thanks in his ear for saving me. He laughed and said that you did a good job of acting.

We didn't need to stay for the rest of the night, there was no room for us in the auditorium, and staying in the music room was going to make the others trying to set up more difficult that it already is. Sasuke said that his parents where going to stay for the whole thing, and that we would need to stay for a couple more hours before we could go home. Being this late at night and walking home isn't smart, even if we were two boys.

"We should go outside." He inclined his head to the door where more people where currently entering. I nodded.

"Let me get my jacket first" I went back inside, trying to find the chair that I had left my jacket on. If someone was sitting on it then I would have no chance of finding it. The chair sat in a corner, left alone in the back of the room. In the front pocket stuck out a red bloomed rose.

I picked up the jacket, I'll read it outside. Sasuke stood shivering on a park bench, arms wrapped around his legs in his chest. I put the jacket on feeling the cold breeze sweep by. I looked up at the clouds, it foretold rain. I plucked the flower from the pocket as soon as I sat down.

"You weren't wearing this in the car"

"I know"

The card that was always placed with it hung from a silver bow. Sasuke looked at it and asked if it was like the ones that hung in my room. I nodded in response. He lifted the card, I looked at the sky, resting my head on the cold metal frame. I thought that he would read it out, I looked at him when he didn't.

"It's blank" he handed me the rose and I peered at the card to find the white bleached card. "We should right something different in it" he pulled a pen out of his pocket and slid closer to me to pull the card. He drew a love heart inside a speech bubble. He recapped his pen and put it back into his pocket.

"I don't know," he said after I looked at it. "All the other cards where always words, never pictures"

Pictures paint a thousand words, but music says the things that no painting nor word can ever express.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

I had wanted to leave it at "Except there is no one to wind me up." when he stops playing, but I had a brain wave.

I had forgotten that this was the eleventh rose, not long left. A few more chapters left, planning on about 3 more. Wow, never would have thought that I would make it this far.


	26. Days

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Days.**

Friday.

Sasuke didn't come to school.

Monday.

Sasuke still hasn't come to school.

Tuesday.

I went to Sasuke's house today, he wasn't there. His mum said that he was out and that she'd tell him to call me when he comes hone.

I never got that call.

Wednesday.

I still haven't gotten that call. He still hasn't gone to school. He hasn't sent any texts or emails or left any sort of message. No one at school knows where he is. I called him but I got a busy tone.

Thursday.

Sasuke hasn't returned any of the calls or messages I've left him. Either his parents and brother aren't delivering the messages because I've gotten annoying, or that he doesn't want to reply to them. I don't know why, I don't think I've done anything wrong.

I've asked the others and they still haven't heard anything from him. I'm starting to get worried, there's no reason why he shouldn't be at school. Maybe I've said something with out realizing it. Have I done something wrong?

I'll go down to Sasuke's tomorrow, he better be there this time.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

I didn't want to drag this chapter out, because I didn't want to.  
If anyone has read **New Moon **by**Stephanie Meyer **then they would have seen the blank pages of Months. I want to do that here, but fanfiction wouldn't let me.Shortest chapter:DDDD

Officially 2 chapters left. And maybe plus another one for an epilogue.  
The End is Near… dun dun dun.

Wait for tomorrow for update – promise it will be there (typing it after I've posted this), it will be long.

Get ready for it.


	27. Twelfth Rose

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Twelfth Rose. **

I rushed home after school today. Sasuke still wasn't there and it's been a week since the concert and I haven't head a word since he scribbled on the blank cardboard that's hanging with the rest of the cards. School has been almost excruciating with out him. Sure the others are there, but they have different electives and different classes, I don't have a lot with them, most of them are with Sakura and Sasuke. And Sakura in large doses sometimes can get really annoying.

It was raining today, I didn't feel want to go to training so I told one of the others to tell coach that I wasn't feeling well. Kiba's letter was on the kitchen table, by the roses, it hadn't been open and I had planned to, but things kept getting in my way. I looked at it as I past, getting a glass of water, I stared at it contemplating whether to open it and read it or not. I left it. I'd be home tonight.

I quickly went to my room; everything was in an orderly mess. I rummaged through a pile of clothes that needed to be washed and pulled out my wallet. I'd put those in after I've taken a shower. I left my wallet on my table among the school work that has piled up. I ran to the bathroom, sliding on the floor boards as I went.

I quickly stripped, lathering myself of soap and running my hands over my body all the while thinking of something to say when I got there. All I could think of was 'Hi, is Sasuke there?' and that was the only phrase that I could think of. I'd wing it when I got there. I ran shampooed fingers through my hair and rubbed hurriedly, I forgot to close my eyes in my haste and I was temporarily blinded and in pain for a few minutes. I heard rain outside and I regret washing my hair.

I looked around for an umbrella but I couldn't find one. I looked again, rummaging through draws and wardrobes, still unable to find the umbrella. I thought and thought about where it might have been placed, and no memory served right. Until I remembered that I must have left it in my locker. I sighed, I'll take another shower when I get home.

It was close to 5 and the lighting was still pretty bright. I locked the door on my way out and headed into the rain. It started while I was in the shower, so the snails hadn't come out yet. I was glad, no lives would be spared tonight. The wind blew, blowing water into my eyes, I wiped them away with my sleeve.

Sasuke's house looked like it was everyday, Itachi's car sat outside and his parents' in the garage. If the weather was nice, Sasuke's mother would be fussing over the garden out the front or out the back. But with the sun shower, I suppose she's inside, making tea or something. I knocked.

I waited knocking again. Itachi opened the door, his shirt unbuttoned. I looked away, this was my best friends brother. I looked him in the eye, avoiding looking anywhere else, he had his eyebrows raised waiting for me to speak.

"Hi… uhm, is Sasuke home?" he scratched his head, running his fingers through it once.

"No, sorry. He took the dogs out for a walk"

"Do you know when he's gonna be home?" he put his hand on his hip. Leaning on the flyscreen door.

"Nah, but he went to the park. You might be able to see him, or the dogs if he's let them off the leash" my face paled at that.

"Thanks" I backed away from the door.

"Anytime" and he closed the door.

I walked past the house, if Sasuke isn't home, and he's at the park with his dogs. I don't want to go. It would be hard to approach him, and even if I did, if I said something wrong, or if I had done something to upset him, he'd launch his dogs on me. I like my balls where they are.

I turned back around after a while. After hearing a noise. A noise of dogs barking. Itachi lied. Sasuke's alone.

It started raining heavier, but I didn't run, I heard somewhere that it's better not to run in the rain. When Itachi said park, he was referring to Jells Park. It was like a reserve, a wide open place with heaps of trees and barbeque areas and seats and lakes and stuff. I guess that qualifies as a park, but this 'park' stretched over vast quantities of land. A conservation park and recreational place, or something. Just a really big patch of grass with things for people to use.

The place that Sasuke liked the most, was the furthest away from all the things that you would see upon stepping on the green grass. And it was the woody part of it. The part where the trees are tall and the ground is uneven, where the light never gets down to the bottom and where it's the hardest to see.

I'm at the lake now, it's a good 5.30 and I'm not even halfway to where he might be. I'm taking a stab at where he might be, he might not even be at the woods. He would be in a million places other places, and I could be a million places away.

No one was at the park, the rain was getting harder and I was getting cold. I pulled my jacket closer to myself and zipped it up all the way. The clouds pulled together to form a jumper for the sky to protect us from the sun. I marched on, my arms hugging me trying to find the edge of the wood.

As I approached the wood, trees where taped with a single rose. The head flower pointed in the direction of where I was meant to go. It pointed deep within the woods and I followed, knowing that I my instincts were right. The closer I got, the darker it became, and the darker it became, the thicker the trees got, and the thicker the trees got, the less roses there were to guide my way. It came to a point where I had to squint to see the glimmer of red in the faint light. The rain had either stopped, or the trees where stopping it from coming through.

I don't know where I am, I don't know what time it is, I don't know if I'm lost, or if I'm found. I don't know what to say if when I eventually do find him, or if I'll find him at all. I don't know if I've done anything wrong, or if I should speak first, or if I should let him speak. I don't know if I'm even meant to be here. I don't even know if it's Sasuke I'll find.

It's hard to see the ground now; my feet and half my legs look like the ground, dark and blurry. I snapped a twig, that rolled my ankle, that made me trip, that somehow scratched my face. I raised my fingers to my face and touched the stinging area, the skin has just peeled away and blood is yet to make an appearance.

Stand back up again, the 3rd attempt. I have lost all bearings, and I can't see where the rose is anymore. I take a cautious step forward to test my ankle. It's okay, not bad, but it'll take longer to heal now. I leant against a tree. I closed my eyes. I hope whatever it is that Sasuke or who ever has done to get me out here is important. I moved forward again, looking blindly. I tripped again on a bunch of rocks and fell on grass.

At first I thought I had made my way to the other side of the wood forest and that I had misread the directions of the roses. Or that the roses trail wasn't finished and that I had gotten myself lost. I thought all that, lying face first in damp grass.

I stood and tested my ankle. It wasn't too bad. I patted myself down, when I lifted my head for the first time I Sasuke standing basked in the dying light. The purple and pink shading in his face, having no effect on the black clothes. It came as a mild shock seeing him there, in nothing more than casual, holding a rose.

I didn't dare speak. In case what I have to say will offend him. I didn't dare move. In case my movement stops him from doing what he wants. I didn't dare think. In case that if my thoughts are too loud I can't hear him. I stopped, watching intently, and I could feel that it was unnerving for him, that I was making him nervous, but I couldn't help it. I wanted him to say something first, because he started, he should finish it.

I shifted my foot forward, uncomfortable with standing in the same spot with my feet together. I could tell by the way that his face was half turned towards me that he wanted to say something, by the way that he held the rose so tightly that he indeed had something to say, but he couldn't get it out.

He turned around, fiddling with the rose, taking three steps forward.

"I'll give him 12 roses" he looked at the ground, his eyes invisible in the half light, he spoke so softly I'm glad I stopped thinking. He took another three steps.

"I've given him 11 real ones" he took a step forward, he flicked his eyes to mine, and I was unable to hold them.

"And this ones fake" he twiddled it between his fingers like a pen, bringing it closer to his face.

"And I'll promise when I give this to him…" he walked til he was in front of me. I could see his eyes, and he was trying to find the right words but couldn't. I took his hand, encouraging him to go on. He gripped it tight; I squeezed back just as tight, out hands shook from the fierceness.

"I'll promise him, That I'll Love Him Til The Last One Dies" he brought our hands in front of us, his left hand shaking as he forced the fake flower in between our clenched fists. He brought our hands to his chest, where I could feel his heart beat. If he where to put it on mine. Mine would be beating faster, if not harder, and I don't know why.

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It.

I lied a little bit. My computer died last night, when I was just about to finish typing and I always forget to save, so I lost half of this chapter. It's not as long as I had hoped it to be, but that's because I haven't added the next chapter which I was planning to put in this one.

Does Twelfth look weird to you?

p.s To xXkawaii-chanXx and any other Twilight series reader – I love Edward. I love Jacob. I haven't read Eclipse yet. My opinion might change, I love them both.

Forgive me.

All poems used through out the duration of this fanfiction truly and solely belong to the rightful owner/band/artist. I have not been given permission by them to use in any form, but in my defence, they were offered to the public by means of websites and icons. With distribution comes credit, and I credit all the poem authors, song writers and quotes men/women. This story would not be complete with out it. Thank you for those who have read them.


	28. Til We Die

**A Lover's Dozen**

**Til We Die.  
**

"I'll promise him, That I'll Love Him Til The Last One Dies" he brought our hands in front of us, his left hand shaking as he forced the fake flower in between our clenched fists. He brought our hands to his chest, where I could feel his heart beat. If he where to put it on mine. Mine would be beating faster, if not harder, and I don't know why.

* * *

I shouldn't have done what I did. I shouldn't have leaned in for that kiss. I shouldn't have run away. I shouldn't have let him speak. I shouldn't have gone to him. 

_Sasuke gripped his hand as he pressed it into his pounding heart, like the mere movement could let him pull out his heart. __Cold fingers snapped out of his grasp._

I couldn't sleep that night. Not after I had ran with the rose in my hand. How could I be so foolish as to take his heart with me? Why did I even bother receiving those roses? Weeks he has been giving me petals of his heart only to have me take them away, never to give them back.

_His eyes made their way down to the ground, looking as the grass swayed beneath. Sasuke's arms settled by his side, feeling like weights they thudded against his thigh. _

I tossed and turned, the eerie dark night crept onto my skin and I brushed them away. The feelings came back and my spined tingled with incomprehensible threat. I lay on my side, it was a hot night so the window was open. The curtains waved slightly in the breeze. The moon illuminated the rose sending the chills back down my spine. It looked so lonely lying on the bedside table like it did, not with the others, it was exiled because it was fake.

_He turned to walk away. Slowly his steps moulded faster and soon his feet climbed into a run, he didn't see the desperate wail in Sasuke's eyes. He ran and didn't look back, he closed his eyes, he couldn't understand ever though he knew perfectly why. It __still made no sense to him._

I was mesmerized to be honest, I wasn't thinking, I was just watching, like something was going to happen to it. Like light would surround the plastic and it would reappear as a live flower. But I've been watching too much Disney for that to happen. Maybe, maybe he didn't mean it? Who am I kidding?

_He could hear Sasuke's heart die as he ran in a random direction, he didn't even know where he was going, he just needed to stop and thin__k. He ran and ran, stopping only after he tripped in his blind dash. He yelled out in a desperate cry of relief. He heard the distant shout of his name._

I rubbed my face. I screwed my hair, I scratched at my face, anything from seeing the dying look on his face. I shouldn't have run. I turned over thrashing the sheets around and kicking wildly until the sheets fell off the bed, silently and swiftly – just like how Sasuke's heart broke.

Fuck.

_He couldn't help but wail and grunt and yell random obscenities foreign to the English language. __He really wanted to punch something. To tear it apart and send it into the thousands of pieces that it was assembled into. He wanted to tear himself apart for being so cowardly and so stupid. He could hear the almost silent scream of his name followed by 'asshole'._

I don't know how, but I manage to fall to the ground. My tossing and turning had gotten so wild that staying on a still object was impossible. With thoughts running around this fast I wasn't surprised. The pain brought temporary relief to the situation. I scratched the carpet attempting to scratch it apart, breaking my nails and feelings the slight stinging sensation once something got underneath them.

_He got up after he felt the sensation of insects crawling over him and he got up to wander again. The sky was completely dark by this stage, which makes him wonder how long the whole ordeal had taken. It hadn't lasted more than 10 minutes to him. Staggering along, his ankle acted up again pulling at strange places to make walking difficult. He soon found another clearing, this one much more baron. He looked out the cliff edge, the moon slowly being hoisted into the sky and the stars pricked holes in the blanket of sky. _

I sat up leaning my upper body on the bed and letting the lower half dangle. It hurt my spine and my ankle but frankly I don't care. It wouldn't hurt as much as it would hurt Sasuke right now. Poor fellow must be dying, like I am right now.

_The trees stilled when his eyes grazed upon them, as if to silently mock his cowardly actions, as if to shun him of his actions. __He looked down below, a river had once flown through these parts, but due to the drought it has dried up. Ceasing to flow, the harder he thought, the more it resembled Sasuke's heart and the main valve of love blood flow ceasing to run. _

I had to call some one, I need to talk to someone. But that someone wouldn't talk to me now, not after what I've done. It was too late to call anyone else. I was stuck to figure this out on my own. And the more I thought the more it didn't make sense. Why I had ran off in the first place.

"_LET ME TALK TO YOU!" Sasuke yelled through the forest, hoping that his voice would carry over the treetops and to the ears of who he wanted his words to be heard by._

"_WHY?"_

"_WHY WHAT?"_

"_WHY DID YOU DO IT"_

"_IT WASN'T ME" He stood then, walking back to where he had originally come from._

"_THEN WHO?" there was a long silenced pause before the next answer._

"_ITACHI" he was more than halfway before he stopped, he didn't want to face him._

"_THEN…" he didn't have anything to say. "why didn't you tell me straight out?"_

And like the genius that I am it clicked. It all made sense. Everything in the world stopped for that one moment in my life that I had an epiphany, a moving inspiration of an idea. All this time, all this effort, all this thinking. It's all been centred around one person.

Sasuke.

"_Naruto"_

* * *

To say that walking to school that morning was one of the most agonizing walk I've ever had to endure was a lie. Last nights walk was, but this comes equally as close. I shifted the bag on my back, it felt painfully heavy, and as much as I would like to relish in it like I would have last night, the moment and determination of getting this right interfered with the feeling. I marched on. 

It wasn't early, but it was early enough. Sasuke would be at school now. Itachi had called this morning. I had hung up on him every time he called. I didn't need him to make me feel any worse that I already am feeling. But after the 5th ring and the 10th SMS, I got fed up and answered the phone. He said that Sasuke had been at school since 7 this morning. I didn't even know that the school gates opened that early.

It's a quarter to 8 and I need to find Sasuke. Not a lot of people were at school this time of morning. Only the students that had 8am morning classed and those that bothered to turn up where here. The library opens at 9 so the only place I could think of is our classroom. There's no period on in there. If Sasuke's not there, and he's not at school, there's so many other places that he could be. Unless he went out early to…

I quickened my steps, walking paced into a run and before I knew it, I was in front of the classroom. I threw the sliding door open with much effort. Sasuke's head short up at the intrusion. I stared at him as he stared at me. I didn't realize I was running as hard as I had until my pants filled the silence.

He turned his gaze out the window, he jittered with his hands, uncomfortable that I'm here. I dropped my bag and took out an object that I had bought earlier this morning. I cleared my throat, afraid that my words would come out wonky.

"He gave me 12 roses" I paced slowly. He looked toward me after I took my first step.

"11 were real, and 1 was fake" I took more steps.

"He said he'd love me still the last one died" I weaved around desks.

"So I'll give him back the 11 roses" I stood next to him. The bright red 11 roses I placed on the table.

"And I'll keep this fake rose" I held it up.

"Because I'll love him, til we die with it"

I kissed him then. He kissed me then. We kissed then. It didn't matter that it took me this long to get it. It took me 12 roses to understand, that I was in love, with the very person that sent them to me.

* * *

A Lover's Doze

* * *

O.Dive. Love It. Hate It. Review It. The End. 

The original lines from Ch.27 are from an icon on my friends iPod. The last lines were added from trying to think of something cute that fits with it. Hope it works.

Italics where flashbacks that I didn't add in the last chapter - altered of course.

Thank you to EVERYONE! That has ever read this story, favourited this story, alerted this story, and favourite and alerted me because of this story. Thank you much. I hope I get to hear from you in all my other stories.

With great love and care.

Orange Dive.

I disclaim that all Naruto characters belong to M.Kishimoto. All poems used belong to their respective owners as well.


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